So you should believe me, that the meds never helped me much… Yeah… OK, I am still in pain… But this pain looks optional to me now…
I am not stopping my meds, but they never got rid of my symptoms… In bigger doses, its a hell too… But not any med didn’t work on my mood, on my personality, on my thinking or my body sensations, pains or anxiety… And I tried all the aps and ads here, really… I keep the maintaining dose of zyprexa, but it feels now like I should work on my own now… Will I be able to beat the rest alone? 
… I don’t believe much in myself which is a problem too but I’ll start cause I am stuck now and pissed off yeah!!!.. I only pray, that it won’t take me another decade 
. I guess that I also should stop raging against my 20 years of isolation, isn’t it? Tell me, that I should stop grieving about this… Its lost yeap…
I start to believe that many got better with efforts tbh… Maybe I am not so alone on this… But yeap, my meds don’t work quite well on me, no… So to start fight now? I am still a bit scared from the moments where I don’t progress… What do you do then?
But let’s be serious, what to do when meds don’t work well? Lol… Yeah… I gave ten years to them, its enough… I am alone now, with my body sensations and the other stuff but anyway…
Take care all
Try to think positive, think on your breathing, do things you like.
OK, thanks. Should I really count on myself now, that I saw how the meds don’t work on me? I hope the lower dose of zyprexa will be enough. I guess 7,5 mgs is enough to not be scared that I’ll die here by procrastinating in my bed, with hellish anxiety and not be even able to eat below that… On 10 mgs I was quite in pain tbh, in very much pain … But for the rest, the meds never made me feel better and I tried them all, believe me… Am still not sure I’ll do it with efforts but it feels like I have no other solution anymore…
It never hurts to try (unless you are jumping off a cliff as that will indeed hurt). Effort can make a huge difference. I’ve decided to beat my depression, and although I’m in bed right now, I am feeling happier and upbeat. I am confident that I can even take a shower today and maybe do some laundry and pick up in my room. I got myself some things that I like doing, a SAD lamp, and am starting IOP. I am determined to beat this. I know it’s easy to say, “Just get out of bed and do something”, but it’s not so easy to actually do it. Set even one small goal for yourself each day. If you can accomplish it, it’s a victory. If not, there’s always tomorrow to try again. Don’t give up, though!
You don’t want to take ads, happy? 
Yeap, I think that I am really stuck with the meds now… I tried them all for ten years…
Currently I am just a bit scared from things like my nausea at my worst, but maybe me too I should wait, cause even this goes away per moments… I even get nausea yeah, idk why…
Oh, I’m on an AD. I’m on Prozac, Vraylar, Lamotrigine, Saphris, and Diazepam for mental health. Then I’m on a buttload (which is an actual measurement, btw) of other pills.
Oh OK, i see. Good meds me I am on depakote and zyprexa and sometimes klonopin. I like diazepam too…
Happy, are you familiar why I get nausea in my sz? Its painful to this point yeap… Docs say conversion disorder… I guess too much depression and anxiety for me:smirk:. But meds don’t help me well on the physical sensations tbh so I need to beat this alone. But I don’t know if I’ll have enough hope and faith to beat this …
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