Its nice isn’t it? Even my ill friend looks at me with horrified eyes when she asks me how could I have spent so many years in isolation…
what you can say about this? When I think of this, and that my life continues to be like this, I feel hateful now, really…
Hi Anna,
Do you think maybe this is a delusion? Are you 100% certain you are isolated for 16 years?
I dont go out since 16 years, yes…I go out once in 10 days to the food shop, something like this…I went out very few for all this time…
I am basically all the time in front of the tv and the computer. And since the year of 2007 I really gave up going out for the most of the part…
I’m very worried about isolation , you must be strong to have with stood 16 years , maybe it’s time to love yourself enough to be brave and fight for a better life , and if not there’s always tomorrow to try again , never be to hard on yourself and try to remember that impossible is just a word , hope this helps
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Anna1, can’t you at least go to a fast food joint or a restaurant during the slow parts of the day when only a couple of other customers are inside? And just sit there and sip a coke? It might be somewhat stress free, quiet, and safe. I do this and I get feelings of accomplishment.
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I totally agree , start small and be brave , you can do this !! I sometimes go out late at night because there is no one around but this can be dangerous , I don’t advice unless you have a big dog to keep u safe 
I spent 6 months not leaving my house and that was more than enough to starting driving me legitimately crazy. Why did you spend so many years in isolation? Paranoia, anxiety, depression? I can relate to a smaller extent.
I am ill since kid. I didn’t talk to my parents cause my father was aggressive and I was scared that he would beat me up. I was fighting till my 18s but I was depressed since kid. so I gave up fighting with life and trying to go out cause it wasn’t helping me till that moment. I went in another country, I started to smoke a lot of weed in complete isolation and it was when I was 25 that my mother saw me for the first time ill. then I started the meds and they never helped me to go out, I am not sure if they dont make things worse now… now I am depressed as hell and without meds, very paranoid…
I only think that life is made to be shared. I personally do what nick said, just getting out and about can really do wonders. and i have a couple family members i share things with. which is enough.
now I hate everybody. I am the only one who was a prisoner for so much time… and there is just one friend, just one who visits me. where are the others for god sake? ok, I have bad thoughts, irritability toward others but I am not aggressive. where are the others?
and yes, @mermaid1, you cant understand what is to be ill since kid. I am bad cause I was never loved by a guy. I never took a pleasure in sex cause I am like some kind of retarded autistic in bed… and all those 16 years were in front of the tv for the most of the part… I dont lie. do you consider this a life when you go out for 5 minutes once in 10 days? since years and on meds…
I dont know how I am gonna to get over this. I am close to kill myself but I want so much to live… but my suicidal thoughts are strong yes…
They say it gets better but I know it doesn’t. Go to a library.even take walks.I guess there only little moments of happiness if at all. I’m paranoid as all hell like you. But I can’t be around people for long I think they talk ■■■■ about me so…why are you not on meds
I am on meds Roxanna… sorry for my English… I was pissed off a bit by my ex pdoc who was saying in my back to my mom that ill never beat the negatives. that ill always suffer like this yeah… and the result is that since then, my mother just keeps saying that ill be forever alone and ill…
but thanks Roxanna. I have nothing else to do besides trying to go out more often, yeap. This night, I am extremely unhappy. there are probably other unhappy persons too here, idk. I am to a point that I want to scream… but I am 35 years old already and the time just flies out for having a family or kids, or even a job…
Anna, ultimately you are the only one who can do anything differently.
You may not feel happy or comfortable going out now, but that will never change unless you do it. And it may be that you will never be totally comfortable, but you can get better than you are now.
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I’m sorry Anna. I hope things will get better for you.
thank you for believing in me twinkle, really 
Do you think I can get better despite those years of isolation? That I can get over those feelings of hatred and envy? they are so strong sometimes that I want to scream still… should I continue doing efforts, can I really get better despite this past? None of you had it so bad here, no one…all of you have bf or gf or a job, even kids… sorry selene but you dont look schizophrenic at all. Do you imagine a person whom never, anybody didn’t loved her from the outside?
Yes I absolutely believe you can get better. Maybe it won’t be perfect but it can be better. You want to improve, and that’s the first step. It doesn’t have to be all at once. Little by little. If therapy is not something you can do, maybe a book for self therapy? If you have BPD as well, that’s not really something meds help a great deal.
This whole paragraph you wrote is exactly the reason you should go out to somewhere.
I used to go to comedy clubs with my family. I would sit through a comedians set without laughing out loud, maybe just smiling a little. My family is very supportive and understanding of me generally but they kept asking me, “Why aren’t you laughing?Don’t you think its funny?” I told them I’m having a good time.
But the truth is that I found the comedians hilarious and I had a pretty good time. Sometimes an experience is just that, an experience. We are not saying that you’re going to recover overnight, when I suggest a restaurant, I don’t expect you to go their and the experience is going to be peachy and perfect and you will spend 30 minutes there of solid fun. It’s not going to be perfect but it’s a start.
Maybe a baby will be crying and annoying or some teens are a little rambunctious inside. That’s OK. It’s just a step in the right direction and you can learn something from it maybe. Heck, maybe the staff will like you and it could turn into a regular thing. that you go and the staff is comfortable with you and doesn’t bother you and maybe you could exchange some "hi’s " every time you go there. You never know.
But yeah, bravery is not a prerequisite for accomplishing stuff. I’m living proof of that. I do plenty of stuff with little bravery (I am brave sometimes). Bravery is nice but it’s not the only thing. Anyways, I wish you good luck. You’ve paid your dues in life already with unhappiness and isolation. Now’s is the time to take what’s rightfully yours and what you have earned and give yourself a break and do a little something for your own pleasure. I wish you luck.
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Anna have you any pets? Could you have one where you live?