I fear that I’m going to be killed and that people are drugging me
Right now i feel like someones following me, that my professor planted a chip in my mouth, and someones trying to poison me so i cant eat
they control every thing
even air , ppl minds, everything
they even kill ppl who seem to die normally
it is very distressing
i thought people were abusing me until they told me its part of my mental illness and discovered everything is my fault and its all been my mental illness which is ok living here in hell ill carry it and be the only one here because i prayed everyone else goes to heaven and ill be the only one in hell because Jesus Christ made me strong enough
Ahh, the one that people broke into my apartment and are poisoning my food is a common delusion of mine too. I also have the chip implant one too. Now, I’m just faced with reality- nobody gives a stink about me. I’m just a cog in a wheel; a number with no face and no meaning. Society is becoming colder to people around them. I find this unfortunate. I live in the city. Some of my neighbors don’t even say hello. It is sad. So, may be having a delusion is a way of saying that you matter and are important. In reality, nobody cares about each other.
its like the world is full of crisis actors and everyone else in the hospital is an agent trying to collect information on who i am because they want to take my brain and be like me so much i have to stay indoors because if i go outside people take pictures of me etc…
I seem to have the delusion that older men have an unquenchable homosexual lust for my body. I am not homosexual. It seems like people across a wide range of distance are intensely involved in my life. They’ve offered me large sums of money to submit to these homosexual desires. This has been going on for decades. People three states away are heinously invading my privacy and are trying to force me to submit to this pernicious situation. They have invaded my privacy in almost every way possible. People in a town thirty miles away should not be so involved in my life when I go to that town only once a year. My life is none of their business. A lot of people have invested money into my situation, seeking to benefit from all the business deals that are supposed to be granted by older men who want access to my body. They are extremely angry at me for refusing to submit to this situation, because they will lose the money they invested in it. They have violated so many of the basic guarantees we’re supposed to have to make life meaningful and bearable. I have no doubt that they would try to kill me in some horrible way if they could. What is stopping them is that I think I have protectors, and, if they did kill me they would be murdering someone who has committed no crime for purely selfish sexual reasons. That is what has kept me alive. I think people are circulating some really nasty rumors about me in an effort to lay the moral groundwork for hurting me really badly.
its real to me and i had reason to be paranoid, i was under attack from forces beyond my control, people can have these delusion and what not, i’ve had them in the past but what makes it 10x harder is knowing that if i did not act and get help i could have died, the evil forces would have easily taken my life but i was lucky bc i have good forces fighting tooth and nail for me, someone up there must have thought i was important enough to be saved.
I start to think that people are talking about me, or they are plotting to kill me. I also think that people are after me. I sometimes think, when I am paranoid, that people dislike me and people will bully me.
It’s very much connected to my PTSD.
Is it possible that I have BPD?
it’s always possible. But why do you think it?
Cuz it has paranoid symptoms under stress
Good question. Since there is a lot of agents out to get me since I’m a simulation player so sometimes they zap my head until im dead metaphysically speaking of course.
When I was having delusions, I believed every body was in on it, everyone knew what was going on. It was so confusing. I believed - 100% that I was a scapegoat/reincarnation of jesus, prophet, or a portal to a higher plane.
Then that I was a multimillionaire heiress. I was also being watched and monitored, and controlled by signals. And hacked, projected into all different forms of media. I had a lot going on and obviously can’t say it all. But yeah, the worst of the delusions continued for about 3 years. I thought I was sane, literally projected good health and was doing better in some ways than I had done in years.
I only really identify the latter parts as delusions because I tried to find more out about the electronic harassment and found out about voice to skull theories. It finally clicked over the course of a few months that this was a psychosis issue.
Back in the days when I was psychotic, I had so many paranoid delusions, over a period of 33 years, that I can’t either list or remember them all.