What are a few of your current (or past), persistent or episodic delusions?
Some of my delusions:
Someome or something is stealing my money and my narcotics. ( This one is current, persistent, and I believe it is true.)
The VA has killed off all my friends and has been trying their hardest to kill me off for the past almost 30 years but I’m too healthy to die. (Current, episodic. I mostly believe is true).
My best friend is a vampire because she likes to keep the lights off in her house and she keeps the curtains closed. Plus she always wears black. And she’s up all night and sleeps all day. (Past, episodic. I’m not currently believing it.)
I’m told I’m delusional because I have Navy SEALs following me and recording me. They think I’m a foreign agent. If I do something wrong they’ll torture me. In the meantime, they want me on house arrest because they leave me alone when I’m in my home. Although, they watch me in my home with cameras and they are in my phone and following all that too. No drug helps. It’s still going on after trying almost every single AP even at the highest doses
But, with meds, I no longer receive messages from crows and bunnies, and I no longer get visits from Satan. So APs do help me with that. Well, Haldol helps with those . Not all others have
I am not comfortable with sharing my delusions. I believe it exposes my weaknesses and stupidity.
My delusions were different to the majority in a sense that they were (almost) never paranoid in nature. Instead they were more of a power fantasy or fantasy of importance and relevance.
What I am willing to share may seem bland. I believed that I had a destiny to take active part in upcoming wars. I used to believe to be a God’s servant and doing His will here. And that finally, after I die, depending on how I performed, I will be granted peace and purity and freedom from the flesh at last.
I just realized that I basically described religious doctrine. The delusions were in the subtleties. I had visions of past lives, of “angels” and “demons”. With “angels” I communicated, and “demons” I combated and destroyed with my hidden powers, blah-blah-blah.
I also used to believe that I could detect “negative energies” and “corruption” in everything, in minds of other people, in food, in clothes, locales or any other every day items. That interacting with “corrupted” objects for too long would make me fall ill. Which actually happened a lot, but mostly because I was sickly to begin with.
What exposes this all as delusions, among the obvious, is that in every event, potential or current, I put myself as either the most important individual or as a major influencer. Which is the opposite of truth. I can’t control my ■■■■■■■ mind, nevermind what happens around me.
My hallucinations were mostly very vivid and extended. For the first three years I heard voices every fifteen minutes.
Past delusions:
Imaginary sibling
imaginary cousins
telepathic thought
I was really something with the ladies
Me and my twin were half identical and half fraternal
I was bi-polar
People I worked with were plotting against me in my head and in love with me at the same time
The voices were part of a ________ conspiracy
Famous people and people from the past were talking to me in my head
The voices were using sleep deprivation to torture me
(and many many more)
I don’t have any! I’m sure in my first few years I had all the classic ones though. I believed I’m a messiah, I’m some one in a trillion person or something, I’m going to marry someone famous, also when I was having a strong visual hallucination flare-up I thought my brain was dying.
Life’s been pretty quiet and boring in the last three years for me personally.
I used to think that I was a sort of celebrity like Chris Chan on the deep web the other is that my father could read my mind off meds I thoght I was a subject for psychological experiments and the voices psicologists a sort of MKUltra now I am free from delusions.
Many and far in between… usually my reality seems stringed together with them, even though I clearly believe them to be true in my reality. Some internal, others external. I am convinced some of them do exist, but I don’t like triggering others nor myself. Sometimes realizing that some things in my reality are delusions then feel like a conspiracy, fueling more of the delusion and makes me angry and sad… needing some rest again, because I don’t like to think about it.