Id like to hear other’s stories.
I start to think people are watching me through my windows. putting thoughts in my head, evil thoughts.
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Like Alice in WonderLand on LSD.
I have the insight now to lock myself away indoors and put the keys in the freezer when im psychotic - or theres a high likelyhood i would draw the attention from the local police.
But its rare these days - any hint of delusional thinking and im straight on the phone to the CMHT.
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I’ve never experienced full blown psychosis. The furthest I’ve gone even when unmedicated has been to post unsubstantiated metaphysical claims on this forum. My case is a bit of a joke to be honest.
For me, it was a lot of negatives… I also was feeling quite a paranoia and fear from the others, cause i was always thinking that theres something wrong with me… I guess, i was also blaming myself for being like this or that… This this or that were also some bad stuff like an oppressed anger, irritability, jealousy etc… I had racing thoughts too, but they were strange thoughts, dissociated from the reality too… I also haid a big despair about my future for decades, suicidal ideation, somatic stuff too… Its possible, that i have a bpd apart from the sz in fact… Most of my friends see me as depressed, but none of my pdocs think this… The docs said, that its more serious than that etc… I knew a lot of isolation, but now i try to get used to it and accept that, cause i couldnt do it better before 
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Take care 
I get extremely suspicious and paranoid my treatment team its out to get me, I think about microchips and can feel one pulsing in my armpit. I have been know to self harm getting them out.
I think everyone has nefarious motives and is trying to kill me, basically.
I would ask do you want the long version or the short version?
The short version is mean voices and bad delusion and debilitating paranoia. Now I have to add a nice voice and a nice delusion unfortunately.
The long detailed version would take up several paragraphs. Let me know if you want that and I’ll spend the time to write it for you.
For me psychosis is like a dream that fades away gradually when I “wake up”
I hear voices for 15-20min intervals about once a week or so. What they say is so clear but once they’re gone I eventually forget most of what they said
My delusions include
- two spirits in my head,
- mother in law trying to harm me/control my mind,
- people can read my thoughts if I make eye contact,
- Evil spirit in my head inserts his thoughts in my head
- once I thought there were gunmen in mosque in league with the imam
- the devil trying to get into my body through my private parts
And a recent development -
7) that my husband wants to kill me because I want a divorce
I hear voices all the time. Mostly they are friendly but it wears me down. If I think the name of an older voice they will suddenly show up! Why it works that way, I don’t know.
I become homicidal and suicidal. That’s the worst part of psychosis for me.
Im interested if your down.
So I guess I hear voices to start. Children crying and laughing but mostly crying. Somtime’s I can’t tell if they are hurt or having fun. Playgrounds are hard for me. This happens a lot outside or when I sit by open windows. Somtime’s I have to go inside or close the window.
Then I have debilitating paranoia where I can’t do anything but sit and try not to think. I will be so scared that “they” will get me or I’ll be scared to eat because “they” don’t want me to. There’s lots of things I can’t do sometimes because they tellme they will hurt me if I do. When the worst psychosis happens, I travel to a very dark, bleak place and I feel powerless to help myself.
Then sometimes, “they” will talk to me or I will just know what they want and I will have conversations in my head with them. I have yet to tell anyone who these people are even tho i know who they are because that would add to their power.
I have delusions that these people have already killed my family and that they want to kill me.
Recently a new delusion was brought up to my attention that told me that i had met a doctor who practiced hypnosis and his existence ment that the other bad people weren’t real But i know that he’s a delusion and that makes me sad.
I think that’s about the most that I can think of. I’m not sure if this replyis public or private but it doesn’t really matter i guess…i hope it helps you
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It’s like a never ending over stimulated bad drug trip. It was like adrenaline from running form the cops mixed with too much caffeine, and hearing intense loud voices. I didn’t visually hallucinate, I dont think, I’ll never truly know tho.
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