My experience with psychosis


I want to share my experience of psychosis to see if anyone else had similar experiences that I can relate to

When I was psychotic I felt mentally high. IT was like a rush of dopamine. However my entire life I was spent trying to conquer dark and demonic forces that I felt were controlling me. I used to hear things that I thought people said when they were near me but it was an illusion. Sometimes it looked like people were crying but they won’t. I saw energy and things I didn’t think I shouldn’t be seeing. Everything in my life was about some sort of spiritual warfare. I spent entire days out in the streets standing in corners performing odd movements or reciting long medical facts from memory and I would see like a clear energy surrounding me that got stronger. I felt I was under a backfire all the time

Then I was admitted and a day after my anti-psychotic shot all of this just disappeared. Just like that everything I knew about life was just fake and unreal. All the nonsense seemed absurd. It was a really hard time for me as I lost my ability to feel pleasure and I was like a zombie

I repeatedly fell I’ll in hospital - I used to shout angrily almost violently at staff and got into a few physical fights. Then I came across Olanzapine and things started improving. I was able to enjoy life again

At present things are very good mentally but I don’t understand the concept of saving money. I have strange compulsions to spend money

My intelligence seems blocked. When I was psychotic I could see the beauty of science and mathematics but now I see nothing.

Can anyone relate to this?


Yea I thought I was some spiritually gifted person for a while, then a few months later it all turned evil, and then I ended up in hospital. And all the reality of the voices and delusions left me that first night even without med I was astonished looking back. However they returned as soon as I left hospital. I also understand about the creativity :seeing the beauty in things more, that has been blunted in me too. Its really disheartening. How long have you been voice free?

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My vision becomes heightened, as if I’ve taken drugs (but I never have). And things that aren’t moving start moving.
I feel like I perceive more spiritually, but I’m also persecuted by evil more, like you.
Sometimes I think I prefer the “heightened state of perception” but I genuinely suffer too, so I guess I’m glad that it’s not all the time.

I can totally relate. I loved science and math had so many creative endeavors planned when I was learning new concepts. I as well hallucinated people crying. Like literally eyes bloodshot bawling their eyes out. I also at first heard voices of people near me. Now it’s more stuff to make me paranoid. But I feel like I’m seeing past it

I haven’t had a similar experience but I’m glad you’re ok now and that you came back to the forum. Welcome back!

When I was first given some samples of Geodon, I felt like other parts of my brain started working for the first time ever… i thought i had some sort of gift. I was delusional but didn’t know it. I saw some stuff even as I was driving myself to my doctor’s appointment. My husband at the time, called me and I told him everything while driving. He told me to pull over and I did. Suddenly, an ambulance picked me up. I wounded up in the hospital. I saw a spiritual warfare going on while in the hospital. My doctor put me on Risperdal. It took a while to kick in. People were able to read my mind. I saw a dark shadow enter into one of the patients and that patient threatened to kill me and called me names. He didn’t know what was going on. The Risperdal worked and so I was able to go back to work. But my mind was like blah. I began to suck at my job. That’s only my first episode- took place in 2005.

i had similar experience, except i never got treated so it went on for months and months.

heres one of my episode storys, it was the the 2nd episode (lasted a week or 2) i had about a year after the first one which was the one that lasted months. its not scary or anything it just shows u how far down the rabbit hole you can go when things go untreated.

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