Schizophrenia.com

Do you realize when

you are in a psychotic episode?

I find myself realizing half way through. Mainly by looks of horror or things that don’t seem right. I remember them somewhat also.

What do they look like for you?

Yeah I do remember mine and also relapsed something was up on the very first ep but I had no idea what psychosis was

I usually have a random logical moment in the midst of all the delusion, just out of nowhere. Like everyone who works here is conspiring against me, wait except for that guy, that wouldn’t make sense. Omg NONE of it makes sense anymore.

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I typically realize mt body freaking out first. I notice I’m shaking, sweating mabey, hearts racing, and im breathing sort of fast, then I start to freak out a bit cause i see whats coming and It’s all down hill from there if i can’t find a way to calm myself down.

The most I realise is very occasionally I might think I’m not doing very well, but I don’t stop and think “Oh I must be having a psychotic episode.” That’s what the doctors tell me is happening.

Same here. I am and have been slightly symptomatic, but cues from others helps.

That’s funny because I am very logical when I have an episode. I still get delusions though. Those two combined, it’s ridiculous. I think things are the way I perceive them, it’s just that I have no proof. It’s always got something to do with someone but I got very mystical the first time around, I don’t think that counts as logical.

I am semilogical. It is logical to me. For example, maybe it is something like “the table is moved a certain way which denotes a disruption meaning that someone is in the store planning to kill us.”

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I think I got that way after awhile. I would be seeing something and it would happen at the same time as something else in the real world would, so I would assume the two are connected. And I would come up with all these explanations for how these things happen. I always thought of something different though, never the same. But I never assumed psychic powers. I might as well have though. I came up with people hacking into the ads on facebook and manipulating my news feed to send me messages. And the manipulation of me to perfectly time other meanings of things into my life. Like one time I thought the movie “Inglorious Bastards” was put on to show how my friends where taking revenge on me because I hit one in the balls once years before.

Sorry I had a good day today, don’t mean to rant.

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I go through a period of euphoria when I am first becoming psychotic. It feels pretty good, but other people find me intolerable. I don’t really think I am psychotic when I am in this state. I more feel like I have heightened awareness. It gets me in trouble.

Sounds like mania.

You’re right. It is a form of mania.

When I’m psychotic I don’t know that I’m psychotic. I think the dream world is real. I can however feel when a psychotic episode is coming on. So I have an early warning only.

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I think my biggest issue is that most of the time my observations are correct, but I tend to give people tons of credit, thinking that everything is deliberate, methodical, premeditated and part of a larger plan. When most of the time it’s just people being careless and ■■■■. This makes life far more exciting and terrifying than it really is.

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my last psychotic episode came when i ran out of lithium and my insurance had switched to a mail-in pharmacy and i couldn’t get an appointment with my new psychiatrist for weeks. my former psychiatrist, whom i affectionately referred to as my shrink, though never to him, retired a year ago. he did my therapy. i miss him like crazy sometimes and occasionally even have something i’d like to talk to him about. he told me i completed therapy one day when i was rambling about some facet of my personality i didn’t like and finally blurted, “I guess that’s just how I am.”

Anyway, between the doctor wait and the mail wait, it was a month. I’m taking lamictal too so i didn’t think it would matter, but i felt much more stable two hours after my first lithium. the onset of it had been so slow, i hadn’t noticed i was doing crazy. i was working, i was managing my dad’s failing health, getting him to the doctor’s appointments, handling the waiting rooms, and it surprised me to suddenly stabilize. so, no, i had no idea.

i should create my own post for this, but incidentally, when both your parents are facing death, and both mine are . . . scary.