I would never kill myself. I just hate this life that I am living! These meds are poisoning me, but I still have to take them or I will go insane. I still hear voices. Voices that are threatening me. Sometimes they say they are going to kill me.
People are afraid of me and I can’t understand why. I have never harmed anyone in my life. People say that they hate me. Sometimes, when I lay down to sleep at night, I think that I hope that I will die in my sleep. I just hate this life!
I can relate. People hate me too. 
Things will get better though.
I’m sorry to hear your life is that bad. Can you make any changes that will make it a little better? Yeah, easy for me to say, right? But your post makes me sad. Are there any mental health clubhouses near you? Or support groups? Or a park you could take a walk in and enjoy the outdoors? My life is no picnic but it’s been so long since I’ve suffered that I forget how bad it can be until I read a post like this. But I’ve been there before, believe me. I had years of alternating between feeling like giving up and hopelessness. But I made it through. I hope you start feeling a little better. Good luck.
I have this feeling too,even nowadays.I suggest you go meet some people,therapist,or go join a event with people you can relate with
I keep wishing I would die young too. Dying in my sleep would be best. I have a good life, but I’m so miserable. I’m always depressed. For a while I beat depression, but that didn’t last long. I keep hoping I die of kidney failure from my medicine, even though the chances of that are less than 1%. Maybe I’ll get lucky.
Thank you all for your kind support.
Screw their impossible standards that they themselves could never adhere to.
Don’t give up! Don’t give up! Don’t give up!
Well what if you didn’t give up? They just keep yelling it at you for some reason. You keep telling them that you never gave up.
Thank you pansdisease! That helps! That really helps!