me: Morning, my sweet little bat bums!
All: morning… they are tired
while I’m happy in the morning and hyper
Xavier: will you be a little quieter, please???
-to be continued later maybe…-
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Today: “Just let go of the fear, you can be out of here in a matter of seven days, it’s not going to hurt that bad, just do it. It’s going to hurt you more to continue this.”
They want me to end my life and have said this very clearly. It’s not something i would like to do but im drowning here.
“Play the game and it won’t hurt”
“New fall line up for TV shows, Liars and Criers, staring Dr. Leebman”
“Watch out! Use your turn signal, and our car just might Blow Up!”
“Feeling Flat? Take your tire with the nail in it to Les Scwab!”
These are actual voices on my vehicles radio, they arent real due to incidences that happened the day before.
Joke was, and always is, on me.
generally? science and how to get me diagnosed at a schizophrenic…
" dark sith ".
" yes my master, what is your bidding ".
take care 
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James… James… James… Look over here… look… look… look… over here…
James… James… over here…
Ha Ha… made ya look…
Other times it’s
Commentator… Hummmm… Interesting… picking the fork over the spoon… prudent? Ah… we’re eating now. Now we are going for a glass of water.
Panic Man… the water is poisoned. Danger… don’t drink the water… don’t do it. Danger… danger.
then there is all sorts of jumble in my head. I’ve been lucky that lately the noise in my head has been quieting down.
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typical ■■■■■■■■ day really. a trial that has never happened (persecution) immortality (delusion of granduer)…that’s about it really so far. taking me apart step by step, day by day…■■■■■■■ crap from start to finish i think. some crap about somebody i know killing me and my kids…all bollocks i think.
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It’s been pretty soft last few days. But I usually have a lot of voices in the evening.
This is an example of what I hear in the evening:
…you’re not writing about us, are you? …are you going to sleep? No! You snore! Don’t go to sleep. … Your meds are poison, POISON! You hear me? Take them an you will die. Take them! Go on!.. Theresa is fond of you, yes she is. No she hates you. Everybody hates you.
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These days if I hear stuff they mostly just try to convince me that the real world is a hallucination and I’m still in hospital or something along those lines
I’m trying to find someone to talk to it, I want to see if it will respond to them. It responded to the police once, they wanted to know what it was saying right then. I told them exactly what it was saying to them “■■■■ you”. When people know you hear and see things, it’s a lonely place, you become a freak.
usual ■■■■ about telepathy being real…doing impressions of those around me and trying to make me believe that everyone i know is telepathic…bollocks basically. the other day they tried to convince me that my keyworker was telepathic by doing impressions of her voice saying nasty ■■■■ about me. i ignored it of course as i did with the other impressions of friends, neighbours and family. it’s total and utter crap. usual ■■■■ about trying to get me to believe in something that’s blatantly false so that i get diagnosed as sz. never gonna happen as i wouldn’t fall for it again. it’s funny really. they haven’t actually tried this tack for about 5 years yet as soon as i phone the police about sexual abuse, off it goes again, just to see if i’ll fall for it. well that’s not going to work at all. i know my friends like me, i know my family like me and i know my health workers are in it for the reward of helping people with problems. sorry voices…it’s score 1 to the bealie and nil points to the detractors. 
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I am always impressed by your strength. I still fall for some of my head circus tricks… no matter how careful and conscientious I try to be…
You can just look it all in the eye so speak and kick it aside. I admire you for that.
Hope all is well with you and your family.
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…spoooooky…similarity alert
thank you james. that’s very kind of you to say so. i am more than impressed by your ability to hold down a job and go to college…i can’t seem to do that a yet. i have my fingers crossed that one day i’ll be able to do that too. i find your energy very inspiring… thanks again for the compliment.