I really don’t know what to say. I had grandiose delusions that I created Bitcoin, but did not. I’m broke and poor. I guess it made me paranoid. I also thought I was a time traveler in a past life or parallel universe. I read into the John Titor story, but can now say it’s impossible or unreal. I had mind control delusions and even delusions about aliens. I thought I reincarnated over a billion times into the same life via unknown means. I don’t know. Schizophrenia seemed to affect my soul and consciousness. I feel like I’ve been living in a simulation or parallel universe like this isn’t my first life. I guess it feels like reincarnation and consciousness transfer and mind uploading. It’s not real, but feels real sometimes. People laugh at me and ignore me. I guess I should laugh too for being so stupid and an idiot. Maybe a lot of it was mania and fantasy and imagination. You know false memories.
I’ve come to the realization that a lot of it is memory dysfunction and an illusion. I’ve had several past life memories. A lot of people have past life memories, but not billions.
I guess I got into philosophy and physics. I was researching parallel universe theory and eternal recurrence. I sometimes think I’m repeating the same life over and over again like an infinite time loop. I got into the Butterfly Effect, which isn’t real. I thought I got cloned, too. It sucks.
It sucks feeling like this isn’t my first time living with schizophrenia nor my last time. I feel ashamed and pathetic coming out of my delusions.
I’m below average and all my thoughts and delusions and experience can’t be proven. I really did feel like I had past lives in parallel universes or something, but nobody cares.
I feel like I’ve improved somewhat on Zyprexa. I was on Vraylar for years. I tend to repeat my same delusions and I engaged and entertained them in the past. I regret it.
In the recent past, I had paranoid delusions and persecutory delusions. I felt like the universe was out to get me. I felt like I got the short stick in my life.
I’ve even engaged my schizophrenia. I’m learning to ignore it. I think excessive amounts of caffeine and cigarettes are negating my medication. I’ve been doing this for years. I hate feeling tired and sedated and sleepy.
i know that alcohol and caffeine are related… and the many fruits you eat. fruits sometimes taste like alcohol. caffeine is also related to marijuana if you think about it. theres been studies. sometimes these things gives your hallucination. and even tap water.
I just drink energy drinks. I’m trying to overcome this addiction. Some say it’s not a real addiction. Been doing it for over 15 years. I started in high school. I started smoking when I got schizophrenia. It gives me a boost. It might be a lifelong struggle. I’m hoping to change it.
Well, I can definitely say now it wasn’t me. I don’t know coding and never learned C++. I am poor. I feel paranoid talking about my delusions. I guess that’s common. I was too young like in High School. I guess time travel isn’t real. I like physics, but reject most mainstream science. I think the world is dangerous out there especially online…
I probably have voices and visual hallucinations, but I denied it in the past. I didn’t notice it. I thought it was my subconscious. Same thing with aliens. There’s no proof and nobody really cares at the end of the day.
I get delusional reading about stuff and have a hard time discerning fiction from reality. I guess that’s schizophrenia. I often wondered if I share other people’s delusions on here after I read about them.
I have a hard time swallowing how much I am a loser. I haven’t achieved anything. It feels like a common theme. That I will never achieve anything because of schizophrenia in the multi-verse.
I regret getting into and wasting time reading and watching conspiracy theories.
I got schizophrenia in 2011 which means nothing. I have a hard time remembering and believing my life (existence) before I got sick. It could be a coping mechanism. I really don’t believe or accept that I had a childhood. I guess it’s a memory problem associated with schizophrenia.
I got into time travel delusions, but it’s not a common theme shared amongst people. I even got into cloning or reincarnation via the consciousness or soul. It felt like my soul was immortal and was time traveling. A lot of it is surreal and not true, I guess.
I don’t know why I share my delusions. I guess I have a hard time accepting, dealing, and living with schizophrenia. I used to suffer from it, but not anymore.
Like most people here, I was at my prime and starting my life out when I got sick.
Eternal return- a Nietzschean concept- is pretty scary. If it helps at all I have thought about it and I don’t think it’s real. I believe in an afterlife.
You really seem to have thought a lot. I would argue metaphorically that you are trying to break out of the matrix the wrong way. Frenetic thinking won’t help you escape the hard knocks of life. Virtue will. Work on fostering something in you that’s good.
I think it’s good you are talking about your delusions. Wording always helps organize the mind. And you clearly are looking for some feedback that might help you work through whatever stage of realization you are at. You’ll probably get that here.
you could have sleep apnea symptoms…everytime when im in class in a good mood i become to feel if time is moving fast like if the space time is moving. sometimes i get in a meditated state. you know how everytime you watch tv or use a tool your in " focus mode "…
just imagine feeling focus everyday and forced to attend to do something. forced and focus is a combination of meditation… its like youve been cleaning your home and when your done you get this relief then you start to stare out the window…
just try to remmber this 5-10 second rule
its usually 5 seconds of breathing and 5 rules
what this article conclusion mean is… everytime you think of teleports or telekenisis your inside in one of these 5 steps. your probably having mixed emotions.