My persistant delusional beliefs/thoughts again

Unusual Beliefs
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I sometimes wonder if i got dp/dr + ptsd and just bizarre delusions and maybe amotivation and cognitive defecits. Logically, it points to schizophrenia. I dont do well off meds. I get ‘insane’. I just have my little doubts like aliens and stuff and ‘conspiracy theories’. Like could i be an immortal andriod or humanoid alien experiencing transhumanism from 2036 or beyond?

Whats more likely that i cannot truly die or whatever and had all these ‘past life experiences’ or im a schizoaffective depressive type person? Schizophrenia assumes you are wrong or delusional.

I dont think any government has the capability to do what happened to me. I mean it has to be aliens.

I could be wrong about the last part…

For the record, i went through monarch programming as a montauk victim/researcher in my past lives; secret space program victim/abductee; military abductee; illuminati victim; super soldier; time traveler; alien abductee.

Happened thousands, millions, billions, or trillions of times. I keep coming back alive. Talking helps and Jesus too.

Feels like i get schizophrenic dreams and wake up delusional. I felt like we all died in 2012 and im a clone in a simulation, but maybe it was just me or a feeling.

People get tired of me. I escaped the simulation, ran it, put it on repeat. I felt heavily and believed and feared and got delusional that im john titor mainly. At this point in my life, it wouldnt surprise me if i created bitcoin, and other random stuff too like urantia, rosetta stoned by tool, and a book or two by philip k dick.

Personally, i think if history was slightly different the world could have been destroyed by 2017. New world order type stuff. I lived through it thousands if not more times. Feels like millions.

It was a different timeline i guess. Mandela effect. I got so much trauma and sadness from past life memories.

I get dreams i was possibly jack parsons and was reincarnated as fritz v. The first person diagnosed with aspergers syndrome in germany during ww2. I was either sent there by aliens or was reincarnated there and lived in hans aspergers hospital.

Finally, im stuck living my current life with schizophrenia. Its pretty bad here. I got bad memories of dulce and mars and montauk and other deep underground military bases.

Nobody thinks its real.

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In one sense it’s real, as in a real delusion you’re having. Nothing can be disproven because your claims aren’t in reference to anything, not an explanation for anything, or something like that. But because they can’t be disproven they can still be dismissed outright without evidence because you offer no evidence.

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True. Thank you. I realize i might be experiencing endless consciousness transfer back in time and to other timelines. By design, there is no proof.

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Your brain doesn’t require endless consciousness transfer through time to invent your imaginings.

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The axiom “the simplest explanation is probably the correct one” might help you. Axioms in general might help you, you should read up on some. But this one basically forces you to weed out all of the convoluted theories you have and most likely settle for the explanation that x has happened to me because I have schizophrenia.

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Ya. I Still have these delusions.

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Just trying to help.

Maybe you could write it all down, flesh it out with a plot and character development and write a bestseller.

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Now that’s a wonderful idea! I would buy and read that book!

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My mind used to be full of thoughts, not exactly the same as this, but the medication I’m on basically quieted my thinking. I can think, but I don’t usually think idly anymore.

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I think this when I look back, even the feeling is the air are noticeably different, how people are is one of the most obvious changes that’s occured within the last two decades, as well as the usual things like the a-team van changing colour, C3PO’s leg is now tin when it was gold, Interview with a vampire not the! Things have changed, even the fact that I now have a brain disease that behave’s like a transponder at all is very strange given it’s been years.

THX for writting this.

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That reminds me when I had the delusion of time traveling, I created a slider in my vision and could move it around to go to different parts of the timeline it was interesting I went too far once and only water was there and I started sinking but I was a ghost in a time travel machine where my brain was the control pad used to move time

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Damn, my delusions are tame in comparison.

I wonder what really makes a person relapse.

When I write this I am confident to be just another schizophreniac. Personally I even have some proof if my delusions. I bet this evening I will be confident in the opposite, that I really am not human etc.

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That is so cool! Sounds like fun.

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Laughing out loud.

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I missed three days of work no call no show and ended up abandoning my car in the middle of the road and trampling bushes under a sign so definately not fun, plus they had to kill me to get to my brain so I thought I was dead and when we went through time I had to tell people what was going to happen it was not fun in the aftermath but I can laugh at it now

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Yup, I just ghosted my day care job after only 3 days too. Almost felt like they were coming to get me from my home, but I blocked their calls, and feel safe.

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