My family thinks I have mental issues but maybe my past mental issues I made up my problems. Now they were biased into thinking I had mental issues. I agree that the things I experienced were very strange and I had visual hallucinations and internal auditory hallucinations. I also thought people like Freemasons were going to kill me. Lots of different symptoms. A lot of it because of Adderall use. But what if the voice I heard is right that they will see me in now 9.5 years and take me to North Korea. Especially because my ex was recently interviewed by the House of Representatives because of Russian e-mails?
What if what I’m experiencing is real? The spy stuff, all of it or at least part of it? I heard voices saying that I could move away and that it gets harder when you get older. What about that part? I feel like I’m doing something bad by not saving myself to go somewhere else.
Also some people hear voices and are not schizophrenic.
Why worry about it when you can’t do anything about it anyway? It’s like the US election and Covid19. Can’t do anything but vote and wear a mask. After that, relax. It’s out of your hands.
I’m worried that I could move and maybe save myself from this. Like if I connected to the spy energy field but with the medication I’m on I can’t get to that place. I could just say what the heck I’m just going to move, but thinking that I may have a mental problem and staying with my boyfriend stops me from that. I’m worried that I’ll go to hell because I never had a mental problem to start with and it’s my karma that I’m getting now that I can’t tell whether I have a mental problem or not.
Well you might have had an undetected mental problem in your past and something has triggered it. I buried a lot of my childhood misbehavior because I didn’t know any better and some of it resulted in mental illness that I can only understand as an adult. From where to where would you move? Having your bf is important, too.
I’d move somewhere off the grid. Likely. But feel bad for not moving. Like I feel like I’m allowing something bad to happen to me by staying here.
What do you mean by “off the grid”?
Like away from anyone that could find me.
No man is an island, @flowers20 You can’t escape others for long and losing your identity may not seem like a loss, now, but it would be one.
I just wish I could be somewhere safe, but I’m not working hard enough to do it. I feel like I’m condemning myself to go to hell all because I think there’s a possibility there could be a mental problem as that is what a lot of people think. I will feel bad I think if what I’m afraid of does happen and I didn’t try to escape. I just feel stuck because I can relate to a lot of the forum members on some topics.
You’re not talking about a physical safety are you? You mean mental safety.
What is the weapon of the opponent?
Like a whole crowd of people capturing me I think. I’m not sure if there’s a weapon.
Have you ever gone before a crowd - like in a sport or a recital or a speech?
Yes I have, why do you ask?
What if everyone’s wrong and my delusions are right
If I was a psychiatrist hearing this phrase would be enough to make an accurate schizophrenia diagnosis.
That’s what I hope but what if it’s the truth? I feel like I’m stuck because I’m not sure if I really have mental problems or I’m one of those unlucky people that have been picked. Especially because in the past I think I might have exaggerated mental issues. I still believe I had mood problems and my therapist back then agreed, but now I’m not sure since my boyfriend said he never saw mood issues with me and is sure I don’t have this problem. He thinks I shouldn’t be paranoid though.
Luckily I don’t hear voices I think I am batshit crazy tho
I don’t hear voices now. Sometimes I hear a few things in the voice of my boyfriend in the role of the devil telling me things about liking girls. One time I heard them say my sister had got corona virus. That wasn’t true. But I don’t really hear voices so that’s why I feel not like everyone here.
Did you ever fail at one of these experiences? Because I suffered a public failure and thought everyone was out to get me for it. I needed therapy to get over it, I was so trained to be successful. Like their having to shoot a race horse that sprains an ankle.