Sz become real

I just keep thinking of the sz who thought he would get murdered and he did. I’m worried that my delusion will come true. I’m accepting that the clone delusion is just that but still am not over the other one.

It’s hard living and staying put with as serious of a threat I am facing even though others say it isn’t true. The gravity of it makes it still very bothersome. It’s all I think about all day.

And the fact I didn’t run away to create a life where these things were less likely to happen makes me feel worse.

It’s just ridiculous though. They supposedly want to kill me at age 47 and I got this idea because I was wearing a Cubs shirt with the number 47 on the bottom corner. Need to keep this in mind.

I just still feel bad for not running away.

Running away to where though?

To a different country and starting a new successful getting married things I probably won’t do living at home. I feel if I had a successful life then I might be safer.

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You can still have a successful life where you are right now I hope :slight_smile:

I remember I wasn’t feeling good and wanted to fly to Japan and just live there and I had no savings and don’t speak japanese I thought it would make me feel better. But in reality I would be homeless and I’m glad I stuck around because my future is bright and I feel amazing

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Have you gotten death threats from voices from sz.
It can be hard.
Just be tough and
Stand your ground.

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Yes they said they will kill me when I’m 47. Lethal injection I think.

Who did they say would kill you?

It is not true btw

After I’m dictator for 7 years then they kill me. I got this all from intuition voices and visions in what I think was a very psychotic state.

If I moved away I might become very wealthy. Here I won’t. With wealth comes safety. So that is why I feel screwed by not moving away.

I’m sorry that you are so ill right now. But trust me, it is not going to happen. When you recover, you will see that this was all just the illness.

For example when I was ill and in hospital I believed the ceiling was going to fall on me and that they could alll read my mind and wanted to kill me there! But now I know it was the illness

What about the wealthy part. Do you think it’s bad I did not move away?

Not at all. In fact it is good you stayed. Because moving to another country can create stress. And lots of stress is bad for psychosis sometimes.

But what if I was safer?

No you are safe where you are too because no one wants to kill you…

Well they kill you after you’re dictator first. I just feel like I’m blowing it by not moving away. I had a chance to make things right and I’m blowing it. If I go to hell it’s my fault it seems. I’m trying to do my best but it’s just not good enough.

I hope hell doesn’t exist :pensive:

Same here. It’s the worst thinking about it.

I just dunno how to stop the idea of hell except by becoming a good person :pensive: :pensive: :pensive:

But then I worry about my past mistakes :pensive:

So i feel like I need to do a lot to compensate for my past mistakes. I don’t even know what.

It is all a bit mad.

But I think that if I give it my all then maybe it’s good.

Because if God exists he will understand… Would you not agree?

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