I can’t not believe the thought broadcasting thing. I’m not even symptomatic but I can feel the belief. The frame of mind of treating it like it’s real. Like it is how the people know me.
This after a whole day where it was switched off.
One little experience and it all comes back.
Loooooooooooooooool sigh.
Ah such a mess.
Thought broadcasting is a awesome way to put it!
Yeah, there are a lot of stories on the web about it.
That’s how it feels. These people are all just normal folks, but to me they seem perfect. Confident and clean in their minds. Real ■■■■■■■ assholes though.
If the hallucinations would stop I could go back to being normal and focused like them, but no whenever I connect with them they just cut me apart. Keep me fumbling around in this mess of repetitive bad thoughts.
I have to do it anyways. Have to learn to focus and not think of the self so much.
Tough when the world doesn’t seem as interesting as it used too.
Its hard to stay interested in the face of constant regection of you interests.
I still remember who I was before this ■■■■.
The mental well ran dry somewhere along this sz ■■■■ show.
I still see value and beauty in things. Sometimes I feel like im returning to my old self. Having good thoughts and ■■■■.
I need the warmth of a woman badly at this point. But the sz gets in the way of going out there and finding one.
It’s just ■■■■■■■ weird in here sometimes. Makes me want to die.
The day was going so well too. ■■■■■■■ roller coaster.
Sorry it got switched on again. I hope you can find some peace.
It is so hard to fight the feeling of belief with logic. Because feeling goes so deep… right into the muscles.
A while ago one of the members here gave me the idea of picturing sort of defense shields and keeping them up around people who used to trigger me.
It seemed odd at first… but I have pictured the defense shields from my energy keeping me safe from negative people and their problems.
I know it might be hard to believe, but with every good day… you’ll get a little stronger and have another good day. Be patient with yourself when you have a bad day.
The smallest things got blown way out of proportion. Chaos theory. Now I have to face this ■■■■■■■■ every day. I can’t ignore or forget this ■■■■. The triggers are so sensitive. Words words words. I guess they are just words.
That tactic seems like it might work. Thanks dude I’ll have to try that tomorrow.
Its ok @SoitGoes. Like @SurpriseddJ says your just having a rough day. It will be ok
Small things still trigger me into some odd reactions too. Words can hurt, and with my cross wired head… and catastrophic thinking… I always think the worst and on a grand scale.
I’ve worked hard on shrinking the scale and reminding myself… just because one person is snarky… doesn’t mean everyone feels this way. Just because one family member gets a bit impatient with me… or critical… well… I have to think… that’s their bad day… not mine.
Thanks. It’s not so bad right now. But it’s just bad enough to annoy me. Probably be laying here for another couple hours ruminating.
I keep having flash backs to the days when I was delivering sandwiches. I can’t tell if it’s real but it was like I’ve always had the precursor of this ■■■■ going on.
I think my brain is ■■■■■■■ up though because I remember distinctly when I had what I recognized as telepathic interactions at the time.
So lost in this ■■■■.
Alright it’s passed. I’ve pretty much forgotten about everything that happened earlier. Just had to vent a bit.
It doesn’t seem real now.
I’m going to try and transform the anxiety I have over being sz which typically feeds the sz and spirals when I let it, gonna take that uneasiness and just imagine a deflector shield between me and people.
Even around people though it’s starting to get easier to feel that my thoughts are private. That I can just think to myself if I try.
That is excellent news… little by little. Very cool.
Anxiety is usually the beginning of my problems. Hoping you can burn it off and sleep well.
Yeah man I drank a bit throughout the day. 7 beers. 5 coffees. It was all going so well that I was just enjoying myself. The up and down of that chemistry though. Depressant/stimulant set myself up to crash for a while.
It’s gonna be fine. Hard to hang out with friends when they are drinking.
I did stop myself from getting another 6 pack. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to have been around people with how I was feeling over the last hour.
I just got this hallucination, when I just roll with it it seems so real. Then I start believing it is and secondarily to that it makes me feel like people actually think those things about me. And for some reason that makes me feel like the chances of these things being true is greater. Then I’m trying to defend myself from all that ■■■■ until I realize damn it I don’t need to be thinking of this ■■■■ at all.
■■■■■■■ fell into the rabbit hole and my sz won’t let me climb out.
I’m so glad I don’t drink any more. Alcohol used to make me angry… then depressed and while depressed and angry… then I hated everyone and that just ramped up my paranoia… and it all just feel apart for me from there.
It is hard to hang out with the old friends when they were drinking. I had to get away from them… heal and find new friends.
I’m glad your feeling better… and it sounds like you are getting a pretty good plan of action on this one.
That sure does help… having a plan.
A lot of the people under 35 will act like that. Some of the big non-denominational and pentacostal people are told by the preacher to follow orders from the voices and go bother specific people. These churches tell their people it is the orders of God. NO IT IS NOT! These voices tell others to harm people or kill. This is a problem with the dirty wealthy people running the churches by screwing up parishioners and pastor…these have a hand rammed up their back like a puppet and they just do/say what they are told to do. This is called ‘not self directed’. This behavior really is a problem at work.
At work, in professional jobs, some of the middle class male coworkers will really screw over anyone psychotic, especially a single female. There is so much scamming and fraud in some communities, working while female and living alone could ruin you. Some smaller cities are letting this fraud and sadism just run the businesses into the ground. If you see wages just keep falling and falling, and work conditions getting worse and worse, you are probably living in a place that will not support you financially that much longer or workplaces may screw you. These same people will screw up a male employee who is psychotic some of the time…
While, the next bigger city down the road wants the businesses to run and offers lots of good employment, it runs under different rules. You do not discuss your symptoms, diagnosis, whatever caused your mental problems (only accommodations, changes to your work environment you need to get your job done like limit on number of hours so you don’t go over max SSDI income of $1100, you cannot work with public, you need to work at home due to coworker harassing you, you need same schedule all the time or work from home on your schedule to deal with insomnia). In the communities with good jobs, the poorer people who are frequently a part-time psychotic will harass you badly outside work including a lot of nagging for dates, stuff moving around in your apartment, scams for vehicles/housing, weirdos following you. This stuff is called DRAMA and should not be discussed at work. Stay out of inner city areas if you try to move to city to work as sometimes violent stuff targets a schizo victim who moved to urban area…If you get confronted by gang stalking, multiple people harassing you about something private in threatening way, say nothing and walk away. It will keep you safe not to answer. Suburbs will accept you if you act normal and work like it matters.
Other people who have no work history or developed their symptoms early in life, sometimes just choose retail or service work. Or, you are trying to survive if living in a scam city like I previously discussed, you are less likely to get ruined working in fast food. If you try to work retail, you could be ruined by people stealing from store & acting like they know you, all kinds of crap to facilitate theft and manager has no way to understand you had nothing to do with it.
(If you function well enough, consider getting a govt clerical job not working with the customers. It can make your life much easier…)
Understanding a lot of people who are part-time psychotic do not act right (aka gang or cause stalking), is a step to real healing IMO. In some communities, some strangers around you will tell you how to be okay after you just moved there. If you meet someone trying to pick you up who talks a little about something private to you or can parrot your train of though aloud, it can be helpful to hang out with these people for a while if the person is a functioning professional worker and treats others okay. Some of these fix-ups become good relationships and some do not. If you get a couple of weirdos or bad ones this way, you understand this is not a good way to choose dates for you. These folks can really be a good help to get each other through it sometimes, other times the guy could be a baby beater.
Mental care won’t discuss this. It is called delusional which means the pdoc or therapy doesn’t discuss this stuff…If you admit the thought broadcasters are just another person hearing voices, the mental care will not deny it. But, there is NEVER any coping skills provided on dealing with any of the other psychotic people and sometimes no good advice for dealing with anyone…Mental care workers just follow policy and procedures, some of which are not in best interests of patients such as calling so much delusional. If you ever get confrontational or angry with your mental care, you can be arrested by police on a forced treatment warrant to put you in the mental hospital at your own expense for as long as the DR can justify. Most lose their jobs and some end up homeless. I suggest you just disclose to mental care you have ‘social problems’ if the crazy strangers are hostiles and it causes you anxiety. The mental care is not perfect by any means, this is one shortcoming.
If you move, you will probably have some people try to show you they hear the voices some of the time by thought broadcasting or worse stuff. Amount of stalking to verbally harass for you will reduce after 3-4 months. If you try to move while you still hear the voices, you may get screwed over by the scammers who ruin professionals to make the poor service workers. It’s like an apartheid system in some cities…Professionals who refuse to admit they may hear it a little and ruined service workers who frequently hear the voices, and mess with coworkers and customers. Discrimination systems are in place in some cities to ruin the professionals and leave them as restaurant workers…Some of the cities are so expensive, the service workers eventually do decide to deal drugs for easier financial stability.
To reduce voices, if you had a fight with someone right before your symptoms first started, someone scared you or they were making threats, being in this person’s company may cause your symptoms. You also need to cut ties with anyone who you met through this person. You may just tell the person, ‘we’re good’ and no longer return any contact attempts. Say anything angry and your symptoms will get worse for years, especially the crazy strangers. Ex-frends will usually stalk you, you may need to ask to be left alone. Some of these won’t leave you alone so you may need to consider moving. I would not keep many possessions as some of these people will break a lot of your stuff to run you into debt…Never keep much cash in your place and keep your glasses on you while this is happening. If you can get pictures of trespassers, you can file police report and try to get a restraining order but many times it is useless. If you make any police reports about suspected trespassing, you may be put into forced mental care and hospitalized to shut you up…It’s only worth it to file a police report if your place was burglarized and everything stolen. Insurance company will want a police report. Renters insurance does not replace broken possessions, only warranties can help. If you do not talk to yourself aloud and do not follow orders from the voices, your symptoms may improve in 2-3 years…You will find other groups of abusers hunting the people they meet like predators. Some cities have a ton of social situations, churches and employment that could be ruining people. If you ever see this or get verbally mistreated, never speak up and just leave it quietly. If you’ve seen this a couple of times in your city, there is no point to socializing with strangers as it will only hurt you.
You can sometimes discuss your questions or stories with the people who do thought broadcasting, but some are so mentally messed up it could be self harm to have anything to do with them. You are better never discussing anything about mental symptoms or your story with the people who act normally…
Yeah it’s been the same plan all along. I am starting to see results.
Just gotta stop thinking about that ■■■■.
Break the cycle. Be free from it. Part of it might be that I can put it all out of my mind for hours when I need to. But at the end of the day the bs that I’ve been through and have to keep facing is still gonna be there.
For now anyways.
Thanks for listening. Good replies. I’ll probably be on here for a while yet but this thread can sink now. Situation has resolved.
Yeah. I’m one of those ■■■■■■ up people. I have no violence in me.
To spell it out honestly would take a long time. These people didn’t play nice though.
Actually I don’t want to get into it.
Just have Freudian views on sexuality. The illness set in and from there the hallucinations sexualized every second of my existence for at least a year and a half. It’s starting to relax now. It’s just not very cool at all.
I just gotta relax and set up a frame of mind where that ■■■■ never happened at all.
If they can read my mind I think they can tell I’m doing a lot better then that couple of months it took them to schiz me.
If they can’t read my mind then it best I never elaborate any deeper than that. I don’t know how people would react.
I’ve never had any one parrot my thoughts. If that ■■■■ actually happens out there then we’ll these people are just ■■■■■■. They could fix the world in so many ways. No drugs no one gets away with rape. No lies any more. Telepathy would be great in a Machiavellian sort of way.
It’s odd though. If it is real you really can’t blame these people. They were born into it. It’s how it has always been.
Such a profound thing though and it’s never been documented.
I’m pretty sure it’s all hallucinated.
If it’s not these people are really quick in their minds. Perfect humans. Have a response for everything like it’s automatic.
I don’t know. It sucks. Either way. Sz sucks.
How would they possibly know without thinking how to treat all the different sz folk with this telepathy ■■■■ going on?
I haven’t heard anyone who has described the same kind of telepathy or scenario that I’m stuck in. Been looking for one for a couple years. Nothing comes close.
I’ve talked to other people who “thought broadcast” and their ■■■■ is totally different. How could the normies be able to know exactly what kind of sz the person has?
Hahahahhaha ■■■■ this ■■■■. This illness just leaves you spinning. I hate it.
Now that all of that is said I want this topic removed.
At best it might provide some unfortunate soul something to relate too.
I just hate talking about this ■■■■. I mean I have to or else it’ll just burn a hole in me, but it doesn’t make me happy.
I just keep thinking 4 years ago. 4 years ago. 4 years ago I was normal. How the ■■■■ do I get back to that.