Was being an unplanned baby. My parents were older (36 and 39) and less flexible than some and an unplanned baby was really a grievance to them. All other problems stemmed from that. So, beware, kids.
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Hmm interesting. My parents were 43 and 40 when they had me and 4 years younger when they had my sister. Although I was born right after 4 straight miscarriages so I always knew I was wanted. But it was tough on my parents to have 4 miscarriages.
How old are you, @Jonnybegood? because I am 73 and when I was born 36 was a lot older than it is now, if you know what I mean. My sister was a 40’s Mom and loved it. My Mom griped about being a Mom constantly. Maybe she didn’t mean the half of it. I don’t know. I do know it hurt my feelings.
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Yeah I’m 28. I understand 43 would be pretty much impossible at one point and women keep having children older and older these days.
Sorry she hurt your feelings @PinCushion I understand your parental situation had a big impact on you. I’m grateful for my mom and dad more than anything in the world! Hence my screen name
My posting name is because it was my music teachers who influenced me when my parents could not. I live for the day I can forgive my parents. It just requires much time, understanding and help.
What do you mean by 43? as impossible at what?
To have kids. The mother must have been younger than 43. I was born in 1990. My mom was 43. I bet in 1960 it was too old to have children…43. Right?
In 1960, when I was growing up, I had two friends who had mothers who gave birth after 40, but they were an exception and were physically strong as you might guess.
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My mother was 38yo when she had me. She passed when I was 34yo. I’m 51 now. I feel orphaned, since Dad is gone, too. I wish they’d been younger when they had me, but I was unplanned also. I had a vivid dream about them last night. That happens to me when I let go and let what dreams may come. It was also a drinking dream… I think my parents wanted me, or they wouldn’t have been so good to me after I was DX’d. I try to wish them back into existence, which was probably why I drank so hard for so long. But the passing of time fades things, too.
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I’m sorry you have a problem with booze. You must be lonely.
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I stopped drinking last September. I have almost 9 mos sober. But yes, I live alone with my dog. Lonely and bored all the time. So I write my fingers off all day and look fwd to times I have away from the house.
Congratulations on your sobriety. I quit smoking 2 1/2 years ago. Doesn’t it feel great to be free of addiction.! Although I sometimes miss it, I’ll never go back to that ball and chain.
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I dunno if an alcoholic is ever totally free of the addiction. We think of it as a reprieve or a stay of execution. But that’s AA doctrine. Not sure I buy it… but I do dream drinking dreams sometimes. It’s a huge relief to wake up to a sober reality.
Thank you!
I’m free of the numbing affect of the addiction so sometimes the pain is a lot. Is a return of the numbness what a drinking dream is?. I think I had a smoking dream once - when my senses were numb.
By “drinking dream” I just meant I had a dream that I was drinking a lot of pints of Coors. Yuck!
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oh. Well, I can’t say I ever dreamt of smoking.
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I know that I was a wanted baby. My older brother was stillborn so, when I came along, it was a blessing. My youngest brother was a mistake, but I don’t think he was unwelcome. We were all crazy about him. The problem with my childhood was that my father was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive to all of us kids all our lives. Especially to me, or so my siblings say.
It’s odd, isn’t it, that we feel we must be responsible for the things done TO us by our parents. The damage done to us is real and long-lasting. The symptoms of it reside in our beings and grow and fester, while the perpetrators often get away scot-free. Sure, others can look at us and see something wrong, so we take the blame and yes, we take responsibility for treating what’s wrong. Oh, well. Life’s a beach.
Ughhhh first night sober and I had a drug dream. I was like “relapse already??”