How do you feel about your parents?

DX'd - Other
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Both of my parents are dead. My father died about 7 years ago and about 2 weeks later I found my mother dead. They had been divorced for 45 years. Growing up I never had a relationship with my dad. When I was in my twenties my step mother died and my dad took me to a bar to get drunk. On the way home he was arrested for DUI. The next morning when he got out of jail he tried to sleep with me. I hate my dad. There’s other things but I don’t want to go into them.

My mother worked hard to raise 4 kids on her own. She never complained. She was a great mom even though she was emotionally absent who could blame her with all the work she had to do. As a teen with undiagnosed mental health issues I had problems with my mother and blamed her parenting for my difficulties. It took many years to repair our relationship when I got older. In the long run I feel better prepared to handle life because of having an intelligent and strong role model for a mother . My mother had her flaws but I miss her every single day.

Tell me about your parents. Do you think the way you were raised impacts your mental health today? How are your relationships now?

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I was raised in conflict parenthood,and wasn’t very understood…
Mostly due to my family ignorance to meet my intelectual and emotional needs…
Had only great grandmother who died when I was five,and left to young parents to bring me and my brother…
I’m now forty six and still ruminate between hate and forgiveness for what I’ve been through…
Every day :pensive:

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I’m so sorry for what you went through. I hope you find healing and learn to forgive.

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4

I forgiven in general,but as every introspective sz,ocasionally come to some very painful emotions from childhood,like my father picking which belt he will beat us…

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5

It´s a topic i don´t want to talk too much about. But my mother was too religious and she allways insisted for me to be the same.

But they were both very loving parents.

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6

I don’t like my dad. He was an alcoholic, a cheater and a thief. He killed himself when I was 18 months old after he separated from my mother.

My step dad who I see as my real dad, have had our issues through growing up, but we forgive each other and have moved on.

My mother is like a translator for me, as she is one of the only people in this world who understands where my communication breaks down with other people and she can explain it to me so I know what’s happening as I mis-read a lot of things. She knows me the most. No one else can come close to what she has had to put up with but she stuck around

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7

That’s great. It sounds like you have some good support there and something really special.

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8

I love them both. They both did the best they could with the cards they were dealt.

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9

My mother was - and is still - very religious. It was both a good influence on me (I learned to love and fear God) and bad (she talked a lot about evil spirits until I became delusional). But she’s a great mother. She had a hard childhood but made mine good.

My dad is an awesome person very friendly and he’s an introvert like me. Growing up he was a gentleman and an excellent example of a man. Very humorous as well.

My parents have been married for over fifty years.

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10

My parents are great. I couldn’t ask for any better. I know for a fact that my schizophrenia isn’t due to childhood trauma thanks to my family. And because of this, I feel extremely blessed and grateful for them.

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11

That’s an incredible attitude to have. It took me years to understand that about my mother.

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Fifty years! Congratulations to both of them. That’s amazing. I’m glad your on such good terms with your parents.

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13

That’s wonderful. When I was younger I blamed my issues on my parents dysfunction, it always had me wondering. I’m glad you have the love and support you need and you know it’s not them. That’s one less thing to worry about.

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14

My mom is nice now. So that’s good. It’s easy to blame parents for problems, and very few people I have ever met had both parents or a loving home. But it does not determine your future or who you are. My mom was a dual religion Karen when I grew up, it taught me to be the opposite, I try to accept everyone I meet, and I will never send back food or ask for a manager lol.

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15

It sounds like you have a good perspective.

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16

I love my parents but they are difficult and complicated people to me.
Not easy going in my opinion.

They were atheists when they raised me and I would get in trouble if I prayed.

My former stepmother also raised me.
She did homework with me so I got good grades those couple years.

I was not understood though.
They didn’t understand how I suffered and I could not articulate that to them.

It was bad when my mum took me back to Sweden first time and she said things like she wishes I was never born and I ruined her life etc I was also bullied.
She had to drive two hours morning and night to get to and from work sometimes minus twenty and no heater in car and it often broke down cause it was old.

Later she met my stepdad and he was abusive and she looked the other way and took his side.
My brothers got better than me cause he was their dad.

She always chose men and sex before me.

I adore my mum and always will but I don’t think she’s easy going and she can have a bad temper in a scary way.

My former stepmom was stable and still helps me.
I’m renting my former stepmother apartment now.i could never afford the normal rent so she helps me out a lot.

My mum is so admirable in so many ways and I love her so so much but no one has ever broken my heart as much as my mum has.

I used to think my dad molested me now I think it was delusions not memory.

I hope to have better relationship with my dad.
He calls every couple of months.
He let me take his last name again.

I love them but it’s not easy easy relationship.

We don’t talk every week or month even.

My parents live far away.
My mum lives in Sweden my dad interstate.

I live close to my former stepmother and her children my step brother and sister.

Love :two_hearts: them all so so much though.

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17

I’m very lucky to have loving parents.

I had an idyllic childhood and the only gripe I have about them is how religious they used to be.

Definitely contributed to the issues I have now.

But I understand they were doing what they thought best at the time.

My parents are still married and both my sister and I talk to them regularly.

I really love and appreciate my parents.

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18

Love my mom, she raised me as a single mother. My dad not so much. He cheated and was verbally abusive

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19

I owe my life to my parents.
My Mom passed away last September from advanced dementia but I still love her and will always.

I live with my Dad.
He can be a pain in the butt but I love him very much.
He did so much for me.

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20

Thanks for listening my problems with patience for years…
It helped me not to burst at my family…

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