When who you are doesnt matter? When nothing you do or have done or are doing matters? All your brain thinks is that you were meant to be something else entirely.
This has been going on with me. I dont seem to know how to be in my reality. I actually think i have different disorders, but pdoc justs lumps it all under sza.
Those things donāt matter to whom? What matters to you? Donāt let other people define you. You are the person you develop yourself into. Grow.
Yeah good words. Id like to be able to grow. Im trying, but my mind is awful self defeating. Today im trying to tell myself āthats pretty goodā over and over. Hopefully it becomes the new way.
Hmmmā¦
Perhaps this?
Dissociative disorders** are mental disorders that involve experiencing a disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity. People with dissociative disorders escape reality in ways that are involuntary and unhealthy and cause problems with functioning in everyday life.17 nov. 2017
Yeah, im pretty sure ive had alot of that one. Never got dx though.
Thatās not your own mind that is self defeating. Thatās knuckling under to pressure from an outside source. Yes, give yourself lots of pats on the back. Hereās one from me. 
I had a pdoc he had dissociative disorder. He refused to associate with his customers saying things like āpeople like youā¦ā and āit would never do for me to be tense.ā I noticed there were times when he was very tense. He thought he had to be special. It really spoiled a lot of the therapy.
Thanks chordy. Back pat for you too.
I feel this way about my family, especially my mother, try to see how far she can push boundaries of making me feel insignificant. In fact sometimes communicating with them makes me feel so down I get suicidal.
Sheās still tapping in my roof and walls to victimize me. They like the just before sleep and just awake vulnerability to really make their best effort of impact.
Stalking sleeking around, training their dogs to follow / intimidate me.
Playing 1001 games upon games games, the new one is the lookalike game.
No wonder I was so angry
Running around yelling out Iām in danger danger
Please leave me alone.
Also Iām actually considering the government / media may be spying on me.
I have a disassociate ptsd also diagnosis I think
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