Hiding in a skinsuit

Lately I’ve just felt so weird. Like I’m looking out at the world through binoculars. I may be in my body, but I’m not my body. Things have all felt very dreamlike.

Does anyone else know what I’m talking about?

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its a weird time of the year isn’t it after Christmas but before new year.

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Like holiday limbo

yeah how low can go how low can you go LIMBO! im an alcoholic and new years eve without a drink is like a cracker without a bang. looking forward to something ■■■■ is never fun.

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Dissociation is the term.

Hmm. That’s what my therapist said too. It doesn’t really bother me I don’t think, it’s just very strange.

Well it means someone that struggles with identity, feeling of not belonging here, or body and environment feels foreign etc memory issues could be anything though.

It is said that people with sz also can have a weak sense of identity and so they detach(dissociate)

Oh. Yeah I’ve dealt with…well all of that. Still never feel human, still feel like it’s a mistake that I’m here, etc, etc…but here I am and life goes on regardless.

I do get periods of disassociation. Not really in my body, on the out side looking in on myself… I don’t like it.

I sometimes feel like I have no control over some of my actions when I get like this. I’m seeing myself from far away trying to tell myself to stop what I’m doing.

I have to leave the situation to try and get myself back into my body.

I’m not sure what triggers it yet… most likely stress.

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I also get disassociated. Mine comes up when memories of my trauma get triggered. About six weeks ago I called my therapist because I was having flashbacks and really struggling. I remember telling her that everything looked really big. She talked me through some grounding and then everything looked really small.

I used to have disassociation a lot more. In my early twenties it was my goal to become an engineer. The one day I had a test in my engineering class and studied all day for it. That evening when I got to the class I got the test and went completely blank. I’ve always done well in school so panic hit me when I couldn’t figure out this test. Panic hit because it was my goal to be an engineer so how could I not ace this test like I had done in other classes. Suddenly I felt like myself and the room were something I was watching on TV. On the bus ride home I continued to feel like this so I thought I would cut myself to bring myself out of it. When I got home I watched myself unzipper the skin on my wrist with a razor blade. I couldn’t feel anything so I went really deep. It turned out that I got a B on that test by the way.

Look up grounding. That really helps. I have a lot of experience with disassociation so feel free to PM me. :sun_with_face:

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The big and small vision I’ve had for years it comes and goes. It came from smoking pot for me.

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