Schizophrenia.com

What are you keeping inside?

Do you have any thoughts or ideas you have been holding inside? I do. I have been commanded to harm someone outside of my hometown and I know I would not feel remorse for doing it. I have enough insight to not go and harm this person, but when the command repeats for days throughout the weeks I keep taking my meds and vent here.

Please feel free to vent here anything you need to get out. :slight_smile:

i try and stay positive especially on here, but one of our chickens is near deaths door…she willl be at peace soon.
take care.

Snakes and spies and sugary pies.

Or maybe I’m keeping them out -

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I keep the thoughts of hurting myself inside. I’m afraid to admit my thoughts on these because my family may try and have me committed. I’m not suicidal or anything, it’s just thoughts in my head causing me to do this. The voices of the faces I don’t know names to…like random faces of images I see online or on the TV that I feel may be negative towards me for whatever reason. I do what I can to ignore these thoughts. I have other voices in my heads of celebrities telling me to ignore them so I’d rather listen to the famous people than the random image people.

Organs. Some bones. :smiley:

Seriously, I am plagued by negative thoughts and feelings along with a bad temper. I am trying to keep the negative stuff inside and act and speak positively instead. Difficult to do as I have developed bad habits that are hard to overcome.

10-96

There are many things I never talk about anymore and certainly don’t post about here. I understand that they are a result of my illness and don’t think that talking about them will do much good.

I didn’t always feel this way and used to speak about them freely with therapists, group therapy members, and family. It never helped bringing them up. It only caused people to look at me in a negative light. I now keep my trap shut.

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I’m struggling hard with my anger at my youngest brother.

18+ months of out of control behavior, harassment, acting out, making my kid sisters life a living hell and now that he’s got an official bipolar diagnosis and was in a dysphoric manic all that time (and on drugs) … I have to forgive all and be supportive.

I would like to… I really want to. I am trying to separate the illness… the drug actions and the panic… from the person.

But I’m still too angry. Some days I can be supportive and empathetic…
Somedays I really do feel very deeply for how much he’s struggling.

Somedays I end up angry all over again.

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I’m keeping the monster inside, the monster that wants to hurt my loved ones and myself, and fortunately most days he is dormant, and doesn’t bother me. but when he does, and the voices start again, I fall to pieces for a little while until the attack passes.

There were times when I had a lot bad… I’d say a monster in pain inside of me. But those times are past and I haven’t killed anybody so life is okay. .

Wishing the best,
CK

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quite a lot of rage sometimes and other times sadness when i have uncontroloable anxiety and people make silly comments i could quite happily rip their heads off.

I saw a movie once. There was a line - ’ Everyone has a dragon is his heart.’

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I wouldn’t list my issues here, but I get the feeling that in reality all of them are laughable. I try to keep that perspective.

Sorry, I should probably feel that this thread is on a touchy subject. It’s just one of the ways I wanted to give back to the community as venting and getting the feeling we can trust each other here is… well… awesome. I don’t really have that yet with anyone but my fiance and members here.

Fear. Anger…

There are a lot of people who will follow orders from voices to harm someone else but only if they can get away with it…Google Gang stalking/thought broadcasting/cause stalking…

There are more people who just ignore voices and keep working, lots of people who ignore it. The people who followed orders to hurt someone are in jail unless really wealthy…The poor folks always get caught.

I’m sorry for your suffering. I hear it most of the time too…

The dark secret that broke me.

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a whole lot of pain. I try to nurse the pain away myself with only some success.

judy

I have a lot of resentments inside. It’s bad for me.

Just something that happened when I was a young man, it was completely innocent but nevertheless, it made me feel bad growing up and the secret just never quit leaving me alone. I have made my peace with God about it so I don’t think about it anymore until someone mentions it.

Nothing. I vent out everything I need to say.

This is kind of new about me, but I learned to do it so I could make my reality check with my husband. So, if what I think at some time is really bad he’ll tell me, if it’s not that bad he’ll explain why it’s not ok, if it’s just a bit weird or not at all, we start a conversation.

For the rest of it, I agree with @Malvok . What you choose not to say because extremely stupid should simply not be said. :smile: