There was a time back when I was just beginning to experience psychosis that I could keep nothing inside. I remember checking myself into a hospital and when seen by the doctor I launched into describing to him some very personal details about my sex life with a former girlfriend. When asked why I would tell him such things I told him that I had no idea why. It was as if it were out of my control. I would then plead with him to believe me that this was not who I was and had always been but rather it was as if I was becoming someone else entirely.
Looking back itās very embarrassing some of the things I told people in the beginning stages of my psychosisā¦it was a rather confusing period of my life.
I would have to be the king of self-embarrassment. When in psychosis, I can never tell the difference between something that should be said and something that should NOT be said. Later I think back and wonder if it was a dream, and die when I find out it wasnāt.
Iām in a stage though now, that I can recognize psychosis in myselfā¦ and I just turn away, just go somewhere where I can vent to myself. On the flip side, when not psychotic I never keep something to myself. Itās either deal with it now and truth be told, or deal with it later and during all that time have resentment and paranoia bubble up.
Like a forest after a fire. They say forest fires are helpful to the wealth of the trees. Things will regenerate after a long time
Could be so in your case.
Someone told me when I was 20 that schizophrenics often live life full throttle + very psychically active. Then they burn out quicker than the average Joe. Happened with me but Iām ok with myself. With a little fear of my cognitive problems
Look on the bright side. You might see some things.
I donāt want to work because Iām anxious and depressed. I feel guilty because no one understands. People I know criticize me for getting money from my dad and donāt acknowledge why. Iām so sick of it. I need to lose these so called friends.
Who not try the right meds to get helped?its defitnately frustrating not being able to live life fully,I am also depress and anxious now,and I actually recognized your name from the old forum,@starrynight it must be ā ā ā ā ā ā ā long you suffer and I believe you had your relief too,but for me I hope for permanent relief,hope you and me do better tomorrow,I would be going to the doctor on Wednesday and I am expecting some helps
Because Dad helps? Thatās all they need to knowā¦My Dad helps me at times and for 2 1/2 years gave me money every monthā¦it was no ones darn business that he did or why he did. For the few that knew they said i had a good dad and glad I had someone who helped outā¦so yeah, need to ditch those who would question & criticize something like thatā¦
As for what Iām keeping insideā¦Iāve eaten beans the past few daysā¦woopsā¦ I can naturally keep people away from me if I donāt keep it inside LOLā¦
Iāve done some very irresponsible things in my early twenties that is haunting me at times. It was terrible to face them when I was delusional, paranoid and psychotic. But lately I cope with it better. The meds has helped me tremendously to get rid of the anxiety that came with the sz symptoms.