Schizophrenia.com

Were you ever nervous with the opposite sex

I didn’t have much fun with girls when I was a teenager. I was kinda awkwardly nervous around them. I was very spotty and whenever I met a good looking girl, I just couldn’t talk to them. I basically had my heart in my mouth when I was around them.

I kinda regret not having more confidence as Ive never had a relationship nor have I had sex.

Im just wondering, did any of you lack confidence with the opposite sex?

I lack confidence period.

I get nervous and tongue tied when having to make conversation with either men or women. You know, really, I’ve been in relationships with beautiful women and I still have no confidence and very little self esteem and am still just as shy and quiet and awkward as could be.

1 Like

I have the opposite problem. I feel much more comfortable with women. And I’ve had better relationships with them than I have with guys.

I’m a very affectionate guy, and I think women are more open and receiving of this.

Blessings,

Anthony

2 Likes

I too am more comfortable around women, especially those involved in the mental health field. I was burned by many different males, some with authority status. My first 2 psychiatrists were horrible - taking advantage and abusing their authority and power with me - this is why I prefer female pdocs and therapists

2 Likes

@mussel,just curious are you now having a GF or are you married already?

I don’t think I said two words to any girl when I was in high school. Somehow that’s changed now. I can occasionally talk to girls at work. No big intellectual conversations, just small talk. And amazingly I’m not nervous. I really don’t know what they think of me, I’m a 100% sure they don’t think of me romantically, though there is one girl who occasionally flirts with me. I’m not entirely comfortable with all women but I sure am better than when I was younger.

1 Like

Nope never married. Been single for what seems like an eternity…whats it been? four years since my last relationship? I’ve lost count. I’ve had many significant others over my life but also experienced these long lonely stretches too that only seem to be getting longer. I guess I was most successful relationship wise in my teens and mid 20’s. My early 20’s, late 20’s and so far early 30’s haven’t seen much luck relationship wise.

WOW yeah I was terrible with the opposite sex in high school. I had a girlfriend who I never had the balls to kiss. I became sexually active after dating lots of people in college, I went from being a virgin to having lost count of how many times I had sex within four months. I was uneasy around girls, now that I have had lots of sex, I am much more confident, but I prefer the company of guys (Im bisexual). I like how conversations with even the gayest of gay men go better than the average conversation with a girl, but I do know some girls who are more mature and less…stereotypical, like my asexual friend who is a girl, she is cool and I dont feel uneasy around her despite her being quite attractive. My friend’s girlfriend is older than he and I are and is more independent and for some reason I dont find her intimidating even though she’s attractive.

To be more concise, yes, I used to be anxious as hell around attractive girls. Now I know how to please them and know how they think, they think more emotionally and less mechanistically. My friend I mentioned jokes with me about it, as he and I are masculine to the extreme, both very built and have close buzz cuts, lift weights, ect.

For example, last night I ordered Irish car bombs while we were at a bar, that is the most masculine drink in the bar, you drop a shot into a guiness stout and then chug it, and we cheersed and locked arms as we chugged down our drinks. And we’re both very muscular. Probably the most manly thing that happened in that bar last night. I joke with him about going to prison for pirating TV shows, as we both do that, we hangout and share stuff we’ve downloaded, and we agree that we would be quite the dynamic duo in prison, we would pretend to be a gay couple and no one would mess with us. My point is, I am on the very far side of the masculine spectrum and I can be a little abrasive with women. I have been a martial artist, a powerlifter, a bodybuilder, I am used to extreme male pecking orders and being a respected member of said pecking orders, never at the bottom. Even as a powerlifter I was 170lbs with a 1125lb total, that is the second highest rank for a 170lb man.

I used to lack all confidence until I learned that my medications make me last long in bed, that my body is in far beyond average shape, and that I can make a girls legs shake by the time I am done. I learned that by a girl rather aggressively making en effort to get in my pants, and I was like “well she wants it” and that’s how I lost my virginity. She literally told me to get naked and lay down on her bed while we were watching a movie in her apartment. Luckily I had hoped for the best earlier that day and had condoms with me.

I went from being scared of women to being bored with them.

Um I was a lot like that less than a year ago. Let me tell you, relationships are better than sex. I had lots of sex in a very short amount of time when I was 20, and sex is awesome like the first few times, then it gets old. The first time is quite memorable, and it is worth experiencing, but it won’t make you a better person. Relationships mean more to me than sex, I would trade a one night stand with any person on the planet for a true friend.

But I still prefer men. I like talking to them more and find less masculine gay guys very attractive. I don’t like guys as masculine or more masculine than I am, with some exceptions. I like androgynous men.

Good question, I had fun answering it. I did in fact have crippling anxiety about women and now I don’t.

1 Like

I’m nervous around men except my husband, much more comfortable with women, but nervous around them, too, but not as much as men.

1 Like

It’s funny how much the tables can turn. Most people describe being awkward around the opposite sex in their teens becoming more comfortable later on in life. I was surrounded by beautiful girls in my teens, I fell in love in my teens, I was used to being somebodies other half in my teens.

Other than a string of intense relationships in my mid 20’s and getting back together with an old girlfriend when I was 27 for a while I haven’t had much luck relationship wise. It’s not even that I’m uncomfortable with the opposite sex I’m uncomfortable socially period. I personally haven’t enjoyed sex outside of relationships much at all, it was always so impersonal. I prefer some form of relationship or friendship or whatnot.

2 Likes

I started drinking when I was 15 and all my “bravado” was 80 proof. I was told I came off as being Mr. Cheeky. But it all went away when I sobered up. A lot of my shallow success with girlfriends was ALL drug induced.

Then I shattered and it took me a long time to have enough confidence to talk to anyone. Male or female.

I do feel more comfortable around females… I also like guys who are not very macho. I’m not macho at all. I’m perfectly fine with that.

The super macho guys I tend to avoid. Most of them are loud… talk more then listen… one-upmenship is all they know… I stay away.

1 Like

The older I get the easier it becomes.

2 Likes

always…20 characters

I am always nervous around girls. But to not be so confused I would always ask a girl out. But that’s it! That’s all it was! I felt I had to say something because I think I can read minds and I know what people are thinking and saying.
And they are always saying “don’t let me get away!”…
Take advantage of me!!..
And then I get confused by both men and women because I always think that something is going on without me knowing. Or like I missed something. Anyway, I haven’t had a lot of sex in the 33 years I been here. I had only one sexual relationship. But I had two one nighters.
I don’t get any girls!
Whatever!!

1 Like

Yeah, most of my luck with women was when I had “powder-induced” confidence. Or crack. I went through a period where I wasn’t intimidated by beauty. I felt I could successfully ask any girl out. I was not as confident as I thought I was but I did have a few good-looking women consent to go out with me. And a few one-night stands, which are very unfulfilling.

1 Like

No, never nervous…I have pics of me at age 1 - 2 with 2 girls, and a bunch of girls at my 4th or 5th birthday party… I was nervous with a lot of boys though…

that said, I had no clue how to approach a girl for a relationship/romance as a teenager and made a bumbling fool of myself a few times when at parties, LOL.
In my early 20s I overcame that awkwardness.
But I was never really nervous, even as a teenager when I didn’t know how to have a relationship I had 2 or 3 girls that were friends I hung out with most of the time.

1 Like