WOW yeah I was terrible with the opposite sex in high school. I had a girlfriend who I never had the balls to kiss. I became sexually active after dating lots of people in college, I went from being a virgin to having lost count of how many times I had sex within four months. I was uneasy around girls, now that I have had lots of sex, I am much more confident, but I prefer the company of guys (Im bisexual). I like how conversations with even the gayest of gay men go better than the average conversation with a girl, but I do know some girls who are more mature and less…stereotypical, like my asexual friend who is a girl, she is cool and I dont feel uneasy around her despite her being quite attractive. My friend’s girlfriend is older than he and I are and is more independent and for some reason I dont find her intimidating even though she’s attractive.
To be more concise, yes, I used to be anxious as hell around attractive girls. Now I know how to please them and know how they think, they think more emotionally and less mechanistically. My friend I mentioned jokes with me about it, as he and I are masculine to the extreme, both very built and have close buzz cuts, lift weights, ect.
For example, last night I ordered Irish car bombs while we were at a bar, that is the most masculine drink in the bar, you drop a shot into a guiness stout and then chug it, and we cheersed and locked arms as we chugged down our drinks. And we’re both very muscular. Probably the most manly thing that happened in that bar last night. I joke with him about going to prison for pirating TV shows, as we both do that, we hangout and share stuff we’ve downloaded, and we agree that we would be quite the dynamic duo in prison, we would pretend to be a gay couple and no one would mess with us. My point is, I am on the very far side of the masculine spectrum and I can be a little abrasive with women. I have been a martial artist, a powerlifter, a bodybuilder, I am used to extreme male pecking orders and being a respected member of said pecking orders, never at the bottom. Even as a powerlifter I was 170lbs with a 1125lb total, that is the second highest rank for a 170lb man.
I used to lack all confidence until I learned that my medications make me last long in bed, that my body is in far beyond average shape, and that I can make a girls legs shake by the time I am done. I learned that by a girl rather aggressively making en effort to get in my pants, and I was like “well she wants it” and that’s how I lost my virginity. She literally told me to get naked and lay down on her bed while we were watching a movie in her apartment. Luckily I had hoped for the best earlier that day and had condoms with me.
I went from being scared of women to being bored with them.
Um I was a lot like that less than a year ago. Let me tell you, relationships are better than sex. I had lots of sex in a very short amount of time when I was 20, and sex is awesome like the first few times, then it gets old. The first time is quite memorable, and it is worth experiencing, but it won’t make you a better person. Relationships mean more to me than sex, I would trade a one night stand with any person on the planet for a true friend.
But I still prefer men. I like talking to them more and find less masculine gay guys very attractive. I don’t like guys as masculine or more masculine than I am, with some exceptions. I like androgynous men.
Good question, I had fun answering it. I did in fact have crippling anxiety about women and now I don’t.