I get terribly nervous around women I like! I start shaking, have heart palpitations and I can’t speak.
Can anyone relate?? I don’t think I’ll grow out of it. I need to do something about it. But what???
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@Speedy talk to your pdoc about it? Maybe you can start therapy or meds or both
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Sounds like shyness. I’m sure you could get a book or find an internet resource on overcoming shyness?
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I’m 63, and I have had the same problem almost all my life. A lot of it is negative self image. Someone said on this site that you have to be okay with yourself before you can have a satisfying romantic relationship. I’ve gotten to where I am okay with being alone. It’s not bad. Judging from some of the reports I’m getting about people’s relationships, having no one is better than being in some of these relationships.
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I think fast about inappropriate stuff when hot girls approach me, I think about sex and imagine her nude and making sex noises. Its annoying. It was worse on Abilify. Reality is that most of the girls I talk to don’t know me enough to love me. I have no female friends other than family members which are family and not friends though. I had a gf before sz and I was friend with my gf’s female friends but since sz I changed for the worse, I became more dumb and less confident.
Off meds I get easily violent and angry but that doesn’t mean more confidence, I think its the opposite.
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I just talk to females that are friends of my male friends.
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I’m not afraid of women and tend to be better friends with them than men. I’m gay and don’t like it when they hit me up though.
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Its easier for me to talk to girls much younger or much older than me as there is no sexual attraction so I don’t think about sex at all. Same for family members.
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I’m my case I was raised in a houseful of females of various ages. My maternal grandfather was the only other guy.
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When I was in my late 20’s I thought that being more aggressive was equal to being more confident. Boy was I wrong!
After my psychosis I always thought that there would be a fight or something when I went out, I was always tense, paranoid and thought that something would happen, something violent. And I also was prepared to fight back!
I became more aggressive by the day. I couldn’t relax when I went to the local bar. I couldn’t focus on what my friends were saying. I became more insecure than I have ever been, regardless of me being aggressive.
It all stems from not being able to stand up for myself when I was a little kid. I thought that those a s s holes who beat me up we’re confident because they wanted to fight. The truth is I was harmless when I was a kid, so they were cowards.
Luckily I can relax somewhat but I’m still paranoid that something will happen. I’m in my late 30’s now.
I feel like I’m going to black out and I become dizzy. Like I’m going to snap! But it’s getting better!
So you are right Aziz. Aggression doesn’t equal to confidence. It’s a s s holes that prey on the weak or its insecure d-bags that violently want to express themselves. F u c k them!
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