Were you a different person in high school?

DX'd - Other
1

It’s so strange. I was not like I am today. I was mild mannered, even more disciplined than I am today, rather easy going yet energetic at the same time, very physically healthy (no drugs or meds) not even coffee, could run, did run, lifted, was training in martial arts, was funny, people liked me, had a great sense of humor yet could be very serious at times, was aspiring to join ROTC and then either work as a mercenary (they make a ton of money, especially ones coming out of spec. ops as officers, they make TONS) or as a federal agent, then I got loose with pot, started smoking it, like a lot, at first it was okay because I just did it every weekend with friends and still had grades and was in incredible shape, then at winter break everything collapsed, a series of unfortunate events happened, lots of ■■■■, then I just smoked tons of pot because I was feeling strange (didnt know at the time I was psychotic), pot made me high but more psychotic, it was a catch-22, pot made me feel better, but it also made me psychotic, lost 40lbs (was buff before, not fat), GPA took a hit, I was FUBAR.

And at an international school, a prep school. I graduated psychotic and functioning yet was addicted to cigarettes, energy drinks, smoked too much pot, it was ugly. I was ripped when I walked the stage, too.

Now I spent today at class and then writing the last part of my research proposal, some very high level academia crap. I was out last night with my old bros and we all drank and had a fun time, we often remark on how insane we all were when we were in our late teens, not just me.

It’s so weird. Im a different person. I don’t know if I am better or not. Good and bad are sometimes hard to define, especially when one means going good not doing well.

I dont get it. I am told I am doing this perfectly correctly so I keep it up.

Who here was a completely different person in high school?

2

I started out high school a dedicated wrestler. My sophomore year I pulled weight really hard to get on the first team. After my sophomore year I started smoking more and more marijuana. I didn’t enjoy it that much, and I rarely bought it. There were, however, a lot of people who loved to see me get stoned. It seemed like every time I turned around someone was handing me a joint. I preferred alcohol. I loved that stuff. With some guys it’s different. They love weed, and can take or leave alcohol. My junior year in high school was about the year that Columbian weed started to reach Oklahoma. People were doing qualuds and seconal. I have seen any of that ■■■■ around in decades. Before that people did a lot of acid. I never really tripped on good acid, but my older brother did a lot of that. Back in the late sixties and early seventies you could get a good hit of quality acid for $3.00. I kept getting worse with the drugs and alcohol, and when I graduated I surprised a lot of people by joining the army and going to Germany. Things had gotten pretty loose in Germany after the Viet Nam War, and they were just starting to whip the army back into shape when I was there. Everybody drank a lot in the army. I think most soldiers everywhere drink a lot. I remember seeing this Russian dissident on TV who said that on any given night in the Russian army all the soldiers were so drunk they’d be helpless if they were invaded. Nevertheless, I was shocked at how loose things were in Germany when I was in, and in 1980 I voted for Ronald Reagan solely for his defense policy.

3

I was an instructed, conditioned, socialized, normalized, approval-seeking, un-conscious, consensus-trance-soaked, brain-dead robot. (Quick! Teach me how to do some “useful.”) I was also thoroughly addicted to excitement in any form of fashion.

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4

You’re a nonconformist

Join the dark side, we have cookies

And blackjack and hookers

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5

i was very mentally ill
ocd through the roof
and no one did anything !!
my hair was scruffy
i did not wash much
i failed at exams
i was agressive
i was a rebel
i got expelled from schools
had no friends
i am still pretty much the same person…HORRAY FOR DARK SITH !?! :imp:
take care :alien:

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6

Its kinda all turned around for me,in high school I was a drug addict in that I did pretty much everything but was never addicted to one thing (that came later) but I was happy and a likable person.

Now ive spent so long hating the world for how I am mentally that I don’t know how to stop.

The new town that I moved to has a lot of good people but im sooo use to hating that im subconsciously keeping everyone away.

Im working on it and God willing I will change.

7

Didn’t read all of post but it’s interesting to me that for some high school is a very important time in their lives…it isn’t a very important time in my life.

I was nonsocial back then with a teacher even asking, “why are you so antisocial?” and I’m still nonsocial now. I enjoyed good music and good entertainment and I’m still that way now. I had a natural inclination to religion (if I’m remebering correctly) and I’m still that way now (though now I am an unbeliever in any religion.)

High school was a good time in my life and my life is going kindof alright right now.

8

(Quick! Teach me how to do someTHING “useful.”) I was also thoroughly addicted to excitement in any form OR fashion.

(Auto-Spellcheck. The bain of Internet forum posting. And very possibly the cause of major international conflicts.)

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9

Beginning high school before my parents realized just how much I was into drugs…

I was more a surfer/ swimmer guy and hard partyer. I skipped so much school. I did have tutors to help me get by… but I was more like that burnt surfer. I liked being mellow… but there was so much going on in my head with the delusions I had a hard time concentrating on much… drugs helped slow down the brain.

Ending of high school I was out of my head… completely crumbled heavily addicted… angry… selfish… hateful… paranoid… and tried to think of ways to punish anyone who upset me.

I’m glad I’m nothing of how I was back then. I don’t like that guy.

10

I never talked to anyone in high school. I kept to myself. My shining moment was when I went out for soccer in 11th grade. I made varsity but only because the coach felt sorry for me and didn’t want me to be the only 11th grader to not make varsity. But hell, I did it, right? Me and three of my friends made a pact that we would all go out for soccer that year. They all ended up quitting before the first game of the season, I was the only one who stuck with it. But I’ve always been an outsider.
I’ve always had low-self-esteem. But you know what? I’ll let you in on a secret. I’m out in public A LOT. There are a lot of people who have low-esteem out in public. I use them like they use me and everybodie’s happy and I get what I want. I’m just trying to help you guys.

11

Yeah I was a slob in high school until my senior year. I couldn’t make any long lasting friendships. They all ended one way or another. I was hyper judgmental and after gossiping to my family every night about what had happened that day I would cry. I still don’t think I’m really capable of friendships. I was hated by the vast majority of the people in my grade and I really don’t know why. I never have anything to say now. I spent most of my time studying or playing the piano, whereas now I do almost nothing. I was a good student, and I was so proud of that. I thought I was going to be successful when I grew up, and my ego really can’t stand that I dropped out of university and still don’t have a job at the age of 25. When I was young I was obsessed about getting married, and now I think I would probably be better off not getting married because I don’t think I could handle it.

12

When I was in High School I suffered from severe panic attacks, my mental illness started already at 13 years old. I wasn’t much different then than now, but was interested in more things, more motivated, had more life in me, got 4 A’s, shone academically, but then it all came crashing down into sz when I left school. Nowadays I have almost no panic attacks, and my sz has mellowed out, but I lack motivation and interest in life.