I’d like to start off with saying that i am 20
As a child or teen do you remember experiencing unusual things? For an example I remember being in the 4th grade when i first started to think that everyone had access to my thoughts. I always felt so guilty because I thought everyone knew about my impure thoughts. I also got this stuffed tiger from my older cousin, it was the only thing i had because i spent a long time locked in an empty room with no sunlight and the window nailed shut to keep me from escaping.
I began to develop a strong bond with Tiger and we always constantly talked telepathically. I kept him for years because i was so convinced that he was just as alive as me. But then in my teens it became a very unhealthy relationship because all it did was make my psychosis worse. I believed that everything else with eyes were alive, watching me and saying really means things about me to each other. I heard it every day. In my early teens my first boyfriend went missing and that really affected me so much. I coped with it by thinking that he was shape shifting into my cat so i spoiled the cat with treats and love, or at night he was tuning into my head and telling me that he’s okay and that he still loved me and was coming back soon. I began to see shadows scurry around the room then eventually i started talking to them. But then i started dreaming about them they started to control my dreams too like i remember in a dream i was about to open this closet and i heard this deep voice say “Don’t open it. It’s a head” i got scared and told the voice that it wasn’t going to be a head. So i opened it and there was this giant rotting head in the closet. Soon at night i could feel them poking me, playing with my legs, pushing me around in my sleep or banging on the door until i woke up. The banging fadded away as i became more awake. The reason why they woke me up was because they fed off my negative energy. They sit on me so that i feel weighed down and can’t be productive.
They kept me awake at night i would hear something rustling around in my room. One time i woke up to these male voices “Should we wake her up?” “Yes. Do it.” I heard the sound of a duck quacking, but it sounded like they were stepping on it’s neck and the duck was squeezing out it’s last breath and cries for help before dying. I was terrified, i started sweating, breathing heavily, and all i did was pretend that i was asleep. I refused to open my eyes because I didn’t want to see their faces at all. I rolled over as if still asleep and hid my face under the blankets to hide my eyes. But it only got hotter and smaller. I was sweating and could barely breathe. I was like that for what seemed like hours until i passed out. I developed what i call, a self defense mechanism where whenever i feel things like this are about to happen i fall asleep almost instantly and i stay asleep. Man there are so many stories i wish i could add to this post but i don’t want it to be too long
Sorry if some of this don’t make sense, i really try my best to make sense to other people but i find that i am often misinterpreted. Especially if i speak verbally i do much better in text actually.
that’s very kind of you