When I was a child up to 8 or 9 years old I used to hallucinate once in a whilr at night. Those were shadowly figures I used to see. I also started to speak really late and couldnt pronounce some words. I had really bad anxiety at early classess as I was bullied and eventually started to develop OCD like drinking as much as possible water before bed time, checking taps and counting numbers when pressing down on them. I was antisocial a lot. I played a lot of MMOrpgs, but almost never made a long chat. My mom considered me normal, but I have or never been even though I was hypersexual and stimulated myself from age 4. My mom thought I just was normally weirdish as never offered me to go to a doctor or psychiatrist. I only went to a paychologist after my father’s death when I was 9. But i was super anxious and almost did not tall so the psychologist just gave me to play some games and thats it. I had no social life during teenage years, just some basic socialization. Somehow I became one of the smartest persons at school from age 15, but anxiety and bullying and ocd still messed me up. This asocialization later made me pick wrong friends at uni and experiment with drugs that later made me get ill os schizophrenia, and now I suffer from anxiety, major depression, ocd and schizophrenia…
I was always weird as a kid. People thought something was wrong with me but didn’t know what
I was a bit weird at the beginning but I got more weird and then crazy during the few years before my psychosis diagnosis.
Could you all describe this weirdness?
I was having illogical thoughts like certain things or certain behaviors brought me luck, laughing inappropriately, social isolation, grandiose ideas like wanting to be a president, etc
I didn’t suspect it, but I feared it
Would you have like to go on medication at early age?
Yes but it wouldnt have changed anything except that I wouldnt have tried suicide twice.
Shy, loner, poorly coordinated,sulky, bright
Not really no. I was good everywhere but school. If I remember correctly they tried me on Prozac for a week or two. I don’t know what they thought it would do.
I was diagnosed with ADD when I was almost 8. I was a normal kid though. Never a very good student and couldn’t do much math. But I was normal. I had an awesome childhood. Always had a few friends.
Everyone knew there was something wrong with me. Tried to beat it out of me.
Then they took me to a psychiatrist who sexually abused me cause I was an easy target. She used to tell me she was hurting me because I was sick.
I can’t remember much of being a kid
My experience with therapist is that they’re on a tight schedule. I also get the feeling there a lot of office-politics involved with social work.
Part of my problem was lack of parenting. Parents working too much…
Shy in someways, but top of the class at school. Naughty at home. Pretty much normal.
I had severe behaviour problems right from primary school until I left High School
No one ever bothered back then to even check to see if there was a reason for it
As a result I got punished a lot, when it wasn’t entirely my fault
Great way to raise a child.
And they must wonder why the punishment never worked…
I got sucked into the psychiatric system at an early age.
I was born with severe panic disorder and manic depression.
Some of the psych meds they put me on made things a lot worse for me.
My first two psychiatrists were a bunch of charlatans.
Thank goodness my current doctor is on the ball.
As a child I was smiling and careless. Those were happy times.
I was normal till 13 then anxious explosion and psychosis came then moodswings
I didn’t have any hallucinations until I was 35. As a child I sucked my thumb until about 3rd grade and used to rock back and forth until I bought a rocking chair at about 23. I didn’t have that much of a problem making friends when I was younger. It was more when I was a teenager. But didn’t really have problems finding a boyfriend. I always wanted to have a boyfriend because of unwanted attention from men I don’t like. Still have the same problem.
TLDR: I’ve always shown schizophrenic tendencies but my parents just thought I was a bit strange, a bit shy and a bit traumatized. They definitely didn’t think SZ.
I was strange and still am. I used to see things when I was a young kid 4-10, shadowy men and creatures in the dark. My dolls would move and I was afraid of everything for a long time. I thought wolves and demons were chasing me around my house and I would always find someplace to be hiding in case something bad happened. I was very smart and did well in school.
When I was a little older 11-16 I started having very persistent weird beliefs and began having trouble with my grades. I thought the vampire people from the movie 28 days later were stalking my house. Then I thought bioengineered zombies would attack. Then I thought for sure, a tornado would rip my house to shreds or a solar flare would wipe us all out. I thought aliens were in my closet and watched me sleep. I thought the world was going to end and that I would build a space ship that would orbit earth and then bring a pair of every species up so they could repopulate up there. I just had to figure out how to power the ship, I thought I could do it with buckeye ball nanotechnology.
I still saw the shadowy figures, still had plans for hiding places always. I was still afraid of the dark and still not social except with a small group.
When I was real young a family “friend” abused me so I was always afraid to talk to adults about almost everything. My parents included. Because my life was threatened anytime I so much as thought about talking to an adult about it, I didn’t tell my parents. This mindset leached into anything I thought. I thought that if I told them anything, I would die. So when I started spending hours studying nanotechnology, they just thought I was really into science. They brought me to a counselor once they found out about the abuse but I refused to talk there too. Long before this, I learned to stop telling them about what I saw because they would just tell me it wasn’t real or that it was some kind of guardian angel that wanted to help not hurt me. Or they would tell me to stop being stupid or that I watch too many scary movies. I knew that was bull so I just stopped talking about it. I didn’t tell them when I started hearing voices at 19 because by then I knew that meant something was terribly wrong. I didn’t want to admit that.
Somewhere around 12, I stopped sleeping normally. I would stay awake until I heard my parents getting up for work then I would pretend to sleep. I would only sleep during the day when there was light. Which didn’t leave much rest time with school taking up most of that time. I did this until I was 20. This caused me to nearly fail out of high school. My parents became frustrated with me because they just thought I wasn’t applying myself and that I just wanted to be obstinate for the sake of it. Some days that was true but not every day. I wish they would have believed me sooner.
My parents were very dismissive back then. My mom because she thought it would soothe me if she said my experiences weren’t real. Just imagination. My dad because he thought I was making excuses for my poor behavior.
Today my parents understand my disorder and they support me. I talk to them about my symptoms. On rare occasion, I work up the courage to talk to them about how they wronged me in my childhood and adolescent years. Sometimes they say they don’t remember, sometimes they deny, sometimes they accept and apologize. Either way, they come so far in understanding me. I love them very much.