Philosophical zombies, matrix, Truman show.
(I thought that all beings are fake, made by God to test my reactions, and accordingly to move me in hell or heaven after I die. Only God and I were real.)
I was talking alone, all the time.
I was falling in trance, just by repeating mentally that I am, I am, I am pure existence.
Visions when I was waking up.
About the first sign, psychiatrist said that maybe i needed antipsychotics in childhood. I doubt it.
I had mild psychotic symptoms. Nothing serious. You?
I had some unusual experiences and beliefs when i was a child/teenager. I had believed one of my friend’s father was actually an alien. I believed people could read my mind through my eyes. I believed i was part of something like the Truman show. I also talked to myself a lot. I had moments where i didn’t feel real, i guess you could say it is like dissociation. However, i could never talk about these things because i was afraid. I also suffered a lot of Major Depression. So i started on antidepressants early, but it wasn’t until i was early-mid 20’s that i started on antipsychotics.
Even long before the schizophrenia onset, my father used to tell me that I needed to see a psychiatrist. Probably it wasn’t normal to prefer to be alone all the time, with unusual beliefs.
I had a normal childhood, but I can look back and see the signs of the future development of sz further down the road. I had a lot of irrational fears and intense anxiety. Lots of kids have that, but I think mine was worse. I was paralyzed by fear.when I was fifteen.
I first experienced acute psychotic symptoms when I was 34, but I’m convinced I was going through changes in high school that would one day lead to my acute phase. Is this possible?
i’ve had sz symptoms my whole life, but they didn’t get troublesome until last year. apparently when i was 5 i told my mom that i could hear god, but i don’t remember this
I had childhood onset schizophrenia. Symptoms started with my earliest memories. Hearing voices, music playing, visions I didn’t even have the verbal abilities to explain to anyone. I’d trance out listening to music or seeing certain lighting and colors. Very shy and very introverted lost in a dream world. I couldn’t do sleepovers or attend school past elementary level.