Schizophrenia.com

My life of fun!


#1

Things happened in childhood. Sleepwalking turning on all lights repeating “they are coming.” Beings walking up and down the hallways at night, just pacing back and forth it seemed. A voice telling me i was schizophrenic before i had heard of it, long long before i had heard of it.

A bit before psychosis i was grabbed on my shoulder and none were there. I was then made to quit my job and was given the boot a short time after. After a bit freezing my blank off my “father” took the car i was sleeping in because none were paying for it.

I set out to the other side of the fam.

The moment i walked in and looked at my bros stuff i heard something in me say “he graduated from the school of death” as i looked at his diploma. Made me a bit queezy.

Things began to spiral after that with instances here and there. A giant crashing toward me auditorily, something then bolted across the yard and began to chop, or reap maybe. In the store looking for halloween costumes they were in my mind all of a sudden encircling me frothing at the mouth and blood thirsty as hell, they let me know what was about to happen in that store.

Maybe a couple of other things to. But then halloween day came. Intensely negative and unnatural information began to flood my mind, the world became a complete nightmare with nothing but pain and tears and war etc… I was pacing due to the discomfort of it all and saw a lizard on the ground, it had been crushed and they said within me “we’re going to do that to you, you are that lizard.”

On the way out an alien walked in the room and stared me down. I looked away. As we left the house i looked back at the gate going into the back yard and they said something about a dark gate with unspeakable horror behind it. The average gate became a nightmare, a metaphorical scream.

And it was on to the festivities. I had some crazy symbols painted on my face and we went to trick or treat. I spent that evening possessed and surrounded by people in evil costumage with crazy symbols painted on my face.

I spent that morning with them in my mind and out of the corner of my eye. They started talking about the control of the weather and resurrection and crazy blank like that. It was an evening that took absolutely forever for the sun to rise.

It didn’t stop. All month no sleep and threats and terror and pain. Blackouts. Losing time. Looking at the clock at three over and over again. I had my mind taken and butchered.

At one point my family member chanted into a fire pit in the back yard “see! see! see!” Didn’t know what to make of that really. I still have no idea what he meant by that. All i knew is that i had walked into a web, a den of sorts.

The torture didn’t stop and it still hasn’t. Im either really strong or really stupid to keep going.

So long story short i ended up across country almost dead, man it was painful.

Ended up in hospital. Went into a home. I left and quit taking my pills. I was fine for months and got my own place. But it happened again.

This time things began to happen again. My friends eyes turned red. I began to spontaneously practice divination when i had not an idea what it was or ever done it before. Started looking at the clock at the same times over and over again. But this time i had a dream in which they entered. It was very very real, i was very very awake and they were behind me moaning and i floated toward them off of my bed. I awakened and was surprised i was asleep because it was so real.

So. No help in sight so i left to nowhere. On my way i was taken to a pyramidal structure and led up to the top and began having confusing thoughts about ending my life by starvation and thirst up there, it was not me though.

I left and went on to nowhere. After much torment and weird things in my head making a fuss about the large word “SPIRITS” on the side of a building, it was like they began yelling about it when i saw it. A cop came and he was going to send me away. Told me to wait for him. I waited.

That was when pan the greek myth showed up, he didn’t say anything, he just stood there staring at me and then went behind something and disappeared.

As i left the area they spoke of mephisto in the wood with me, it was creepy.

So i ended up at family’s where i sat up all night and a being visually became the movie i was watching, the charachter just slowly turned around and grinned and stared me down, he was supposed to be looking the other way.

Hospital. Put into a home. Quit pills and left. I was fine for months.

Two bouts of homelessness complete with beatings, diseases, my car being stolen, knives held to my throat, i was robbed.

And since it began i’ve been poor, very poor.

So it doesn’t stop. I’ve seen pan, shadow people, other shadows, light beings, a large serpent made of light, i was shocked by a fanged grinning face made of light, i was burned by another face made of light, my spine was bent when i began laughing at rich people orgies, ghosts or what looked like ghosts, beings in my dreams, seeing the future, same times on clocks over and over and over and over and over again, an alien, a ufo. To to much blank, waaaaayyy to much freaking blank actually. wtf is up with the blank in my life?!

And oh yeah after seeing pan and getting put away for being possessed i ran into a guy and he blanking made me visually hallucinate and then yelled at me that he was a black witch. It was so real looking i couldn’t believe he could do that, lucky guy right there, i want to be able to do that! I know he was being horrible because of the awful crap he was making me see but i want to do that, that could be awesome!

So back to the fam at which point i was imprisoned, used, abused, neglected, at times physically beaten, and robbed, and had my things destroyed in bouts of alcoholic rages. it was crazy and a possessed guy doesn’t need that to you know. That was years. During this horrible stage is when i was shocked and the giant snake made of light appeared, you gotta see this stuff really! Holy blank!

So i was abandoned and sent with my bro at which point i was repeatedly abused and robbed again. And when they were done with me they threw me away like garbage. Ended up in hospital. Back in home. Placed in apartment. I would have been able to escape but i was poor and could not work.

The place they put me, a possessed person, had shootings alot. It was a blankhole. So the fam calls me up and asks me to move in with them. It was either that or stay in the shootings, had to escape.

The abuse continued, used as a slave and not treated as an equal. treated stupid and lowly, ignored, hated, used time and time again.

All the while the inner torment continued, like i said it doesn’t stop. Im either incredibly strong or really stupid because i don’t kill myself, hard to tell which.

Now after being forced to take pills im dying slowly and very sick, chemical lobotomy and physical sickness setting in. The abuses continue, esp. inwardly, by them, they don’t rest and don’t quit. The poverty continues, the dread, the sadness, the anger, the loathing, the fear.

It wasn’t so long ago they bent my spine. I began to gasp for breath from it. They really didn’t like me laughing at those orgies but i just thought it was funny for some reason.

Oh yeah after awhile i began seeing part of the structure of the planet, the faces. The trees and things form very detailed faces made of the object, shadow, and light. It’s in the mind though and it’s hidden from view in plain sight. Someone decided to weave that one in there, wierd thing to make i would say but what do i know anyway.

So. In conclusion. And this isn’t every little blanky thing that has happened, there are many more gruesome details. Im blanking screwed!


#2

Wow, you’ve had some unique, intense, insightful, and bizarre experiences. You’re a survivor @pansdisease. Keep sharing


#3

I love this.

I’m sorry you’re so pinking screwed, tho.