When I reminisce my mind tells me that I’ve always had an apathetic mind, there’s no feelings/emotion in my life but, delusional feelings/emotion would commence a content rhetorical acceptance that’ll guide merit into an introspective balance and/or metered functional feelings/emotion. However, at the same time my apathetic mind becomes complex and alters the abstract belief system I have and while the delusional feelings/emotion are established I’ll tend to invest an illogical regard for nostalgic sentimentalism. Sometimes I would lose myself within a repetition of music because I try to find the sense of security while my actions assembles a connection of devotion but, it’s an illogical regard. The confirmation of introspective balance and/or metered functional feelings/emotion will insinuate the schizophrenic type delusional and incoherent behaviors. I want to believe my logical understanding abilities have structured a modernized and sound idealism however, “I criss-crossed between life and death, I help honor Heaven and/or Hell (I’m just so confused) and, I mastered the balance of peace” becomes linked with the paranoid schizophrenia. I could apprehend a conclusion that has an interpretation of those conditioned achievements but, a remark would unveil the withheld praise of immanent endearment following an unconditional faith to search for unconsentaneous unicity. So, if you comprehend I’m basically saying possibilities are an endlessness of unbounded divinity. To begin an explanation of conditioned awareness; my impairment puts my mind frame in an interpretation of myself as lost, I’ll then portray the word I’ll act it out, I’d begin to lose my train of thought/memory, and/or lose interest with life (friends, goals, and/or lose of hygienic maintenance), another impairment has false perceptions that will continuously be changing and undergoing indecisive comprehension that is an uncontrolled interaction which is somehow fantasy related, it also seems like everyone is either thinking the same thing or every reason is the current reason, that’s how I describe my embodiment of paranoid schizophrenia. When you’ve addressed the reality and fantasy transition; these impairments should no longer be involuntary and you’ve progress well into recovery enough to improve the schizophrenic symptoms. I really want to be able to explain my self clearly, I’m using my coined term ‘conditioned awareness’ the phrase explains your intent to actively invoke the progress and focus on allocation forming transitions between reality and fantasy. These new responsibilities become an inevitability of my unknown purpose, solitary thinking, my personal perception and, the justifying ability to attain value through self-actualization to revel an abstracted divine rational principle. Retrospective patience is the context to achieve conditioned awareness through this frame of mind the diagnosis is placed into your life for long term and it becomes a priority that is always constructive. I want to improve the quality of my life but, there’s always an inconsistent mental wellness, the need to cope with any hindered abilities and, the needed proof for society that represents my determination to put my motives and goals towards recovery. Learning to accept your mental breakdown will accelerate you to gain the tolerance and trust to involve some medical treatment options which is a foundation to presume into a coherent lifestyle after development of symptoms serious enough to diagnose. I hope everyone gets better. [to be continued]
Very insightful!
(Theory) Preoccupation with unusual beliefs shift perception if applied to external reality. Having a delusional perception on the world can put stress a stress on a person which leads to paranoia. Or It could start out as Paranoia or anxiety only explained by science creating unusual beliefs by the person jumping to conclusions then creating the delusional perception or fantasy world.
Key words:
Delusional perception: Delusional perception causes a person to always try to explain why they are thinking this way, usually by coming to the conclusion that everybody thinks this way or some other illogical answer. Depending on what you believe in it can make things seem like everything has a meaning or nothing has a meaning (2 extremes).
Jumping to conclusions: This is a cognitive distortions people have that is for some people just simply searching for an explanation or for most people that people can read their mind or that you can read their mind. This is not usually delusional but when a person loses insight they might come up with an illogical conclusion. In the act of coming up with a conclusion the person may feel indecisive or ambivalent.
Preoccupation/Fixation/Obsession: I think this might be a cause for delusional thinking in some people if someone for example is fixated with synchronicity they may soon to believe everything is in sync like other people the T.V. music ect. They then create a perception that is hard to break. They start looking at the whole world through this lens. Most people want to explain their experience usually coming up with more delusional ideas…
It is a vicious cycle with no real starting point…
Yeah, a never ending ‘vicous’ cycle. I’ve been having more reality checks to keep myself aware of my drifting mind. I’m at the point where medication is stable and my natural imbalanced behavioral nature is transitioning with a medicated sense of applied orientation. A new delusion I have is, that I’m suffering from thus mental condition and it’ll be the utterance of disrepair and then I snap into a coherent reality and get confused of which symptoms I actually experienced and which of them was a resort of delusion. I’m a light-hearted soul and when I think about my delusion and wonder in a sort of awe, how did I come up with that? I’m more creative or is it an delusional reflection, either way I feel like I have to keep the train of thought or the belief alive. There is so much involvement when you really think about it, as a paranoid schizophrenic I’ll criticality perceive multiple perceptions that has instilled appreciation and value from the states of impairment onto an irregular consciousness. What I’ve learned is that prioritizing the ability to implement choice is never lost, you chose to continue with a delusion thus dissappating into an apathetic nature. Well, although I’m not thinking this out coherently it feels like a point I could either return and allocate what I’m trying to interpret or move on and unbound the implication onset as illogical likelihood. I want to understand my delusional schizophrenia but, in real life there’s an schizophrenia diagnosed to me and the reward of prioritizing… (I don’t think any to choose)