The illness runs in my family so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s finally reached me, but uh…I’ve been having some strange experiences and I’m afraid to reach out . Should I get help?
1). I think people can read my mind. I dont talk at work much unless I need to, but the people around me say things that I’ll be thinking about (oddly specific too) or they’ll come up and talk to me about something that happened to me that day but i never told anyone . Example : I have an eating disorder, yesterday was day 3 of my 200cal fast
A co-worker( that I’ve NEVER held a conversation with) came up to me and started talking about how depression sucks and it’s even worse when “a mother doesn’t know her daughter is depressed and not eating” . I live with my narcissist mother who doesn’t pay me much attention & that random comment really struck a cord with me .
I think everyone wants me to kill myself.
I don’t know if they’re really saying it, if I’m thinking it ,or what but every where I go I hear people talking about “the only way out is with a noose & 30 foot drop” , or comments about swallowing pills, cutting themselves ,ect …either everyone around me is super grim or they know I tried to kill myself last year and need me to continue
3). I think everything is a staged Test, like I’m on the Truman show or something(if you’ve seen the movie you know what I mean) . Nothing feels real anymore…
The coincidences are too perfect, too specific. It’s almost like the universe is ■■■■■■■ with me
At one point I thought I was surrounded by demons who wanted me dead …who wanted my depression to finally get me .
I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t … who’s against me and who’s not…whos human
Try not to connect the dots between you and what true strangers are saying. They don’t know you, don’t pretend that they do.
I have the same problem of taking personally what strangers are talking about, and it’s a stupid tendency that I wish I could just turn off. It doesn’t happen very much with text, but with vocal communication it’s pretty bad, especially if it’s live and lots of people are talking at once.
Hey… Listen you really need to eat something or else it could cause you to have schizophrenia, which believe me is absolutely horrible. The stress on your body and brain seems to be putting you into a state of psychosis. You need to see a doctor immediately
Hey, it really does sound like there is something not right here, I’m no psychiatrist but it sounds to me like you are having delusional thoughts. You really need to speak to a doctor or psychiatrist - if this is something that has just started recently, the sooner you get help the better. It’s really in your best interests to have some professional input before things start to go downhill. Best of luck to you.
@Gracies, My sza started out as an eating disorder too (bulimia). You need to see a pdoc right away. He/she will take care of both your psychosis and your eating disorder. Try to see a psychiatrist that works on a sliding scale basis.
I read that in America there’s free mental hospitals in each state, no money no problem. Just go get medication and worry about money later. If you don’t these things you’re hearing will persist for the rest of your life. If you go to the doctor they will stop, and you will receive treatment and a quiet place to gather your thoughts and probably make new friends, get to watch tv/ be on your phone all day while you rest and heal. Which one of these sounds better?
It really doesn’t cost that much, maybe a bit of saving up for a few months. After that you’ll be in better mental health (it sounds like this has been progressing for a while) and you’ll be able to get a better career where you feel fulfilled, maybe in helping young women get through the same thing you did. Is your entire life worth a bit of money? No you are very valuable in Gods eyes.
