My cpn is trying compassionate therapy with me and I just wondered if anyone else has done this? Today I was asked to write down my strengths, but then got attacked by voices, I felt very embarrassed, because I ducked at the hatred. I don’t seem to be allowed to accept my strengths. He told me my strengths but I just felt really rather aggressive with self hate. I’m hoping it works, I’d like to feel some compassion.
I just wondered what your experiences of it?
The other was to think of voices as thoughts? How do I go about this? I know some of you have mentioned it but I wasn’t ready to try it until the other day. He said it can aggravate things and I just wanted to know any tips on how you went about training yourself to think of them as thoughts.
Sorry that this is my second thread in a few days, just thought I’d get it out whilst I’m feeling determined?
i don’t tend to think of them as thoughts. i think of them more as personalities really. sort of splinter me’s with different voices is all. not telepathy at all, just internal dialogue really. the reason mine are negative is simply because they’ve been programmed to be that way. i don’t know why yours are negative. it can be very odd that a lot of the voices people experience seem to be from the cia or fbi or the devil or demons. i don’t get demonic voices but i think that’s because i don’t believe in satan or god. mine, in the beginning were more cia or military voices, and of course mel gibson who firmly believes he is telepathic, as do all of the voices i hear but then they’ve been programmed to say those things so it’s hardly surprising that that’s what i hear. so yeah, i think of them more as splinters or offshoots of the self rather than thoughts or outside entities. what are your thoughts on where they come from? xxx
The first part…
Yes. my voices have amped up when I was trying to be self positive and build up my inner esteem. That little bit of lingering doubt would come and feed the voices in my head and soon I’d be tearing myself down, not building myself up.
It’s hard to do, and it’s easy to feel so unsteady and doubt all the good things that have ever happened. I was given this homework assignment a few times in therapy and it’s not an easy one. It made me feel very exposed and anxious. My brain just didn’t want me to have anything to be proud of. I got help from my family… bolstering me up and pointing out what I was doing well.
When I would go back and read it… my family still loves me. My sis says I’m a good person, My Mom is proud of me… that did help me. It made me feel better.
The second part…
Voices as thought… I’m still and always working on this.
My therapist and I have been trying to combat my voices and sneaky brained thinking with Mindfullness. Just letting the voices go and pass through and not let them effect my mood. The more I can just ignore them and let them pass… the weaker they become. Eventually I can logically say… yes my voices are merely echoing my own thought process.
But when they amp up, I loose that perspective and have to go back to just letting them say what they will and let them pass. Don’t beat myself up.
I got some ideas from this one… Jonny Benjamin & Mindfulness… he mentions some resources in this part. There is a part 2 on Youtube that I also like.
Hey Dante~
This sounds good to me. Anything that has the word compassionate in it has my vote. I have never heard of it, but sounds very worthwhile. Hope you can have some fun with it also.
Have you ever heard of synesthesia? It’s a condition where your senses get all mixed up, so you can hear colors, or taste days of the week or feel music. I think that the voices are like a synesthesia of emotion. You HEAR your feelings. From your post, I take it you struggle with low self-esteem. The voices are literally your low self-esteem expressing itself. Think of them as messengers from your subconscious, telling you how you feel and what you’re thinking.
@jaynebeal, thank you for sharing that, my opinion of my voices, was that they are people from different dimensions, set off by my implant. They are part of the government of which I’m a target for. The givernent conspires with other powers from different dimensions. It goes rather complex, this is as brief as I could get it.
@SurprisedJ, thank you James. My nurse gave me a few ideas on things I could be proud of and I’m going to ask my mum too. I’ve bought a little jar and am going to write them down and keep them there, so I can go back to them too. I understand the mind not letting you be proud. When I was at my appointment, I could only write on down before voices kicked in, then Couldn’t write any more and when my nurse was telling me what I could be proud of i found it so hard to accept. It was an eye opener.
I will try my best, it’s not going too well just yet. I will look at that video, I like Jonny Benjamin, I look at his work a lot. Thank you, and you keep on fighting!
i don’t want to trigger you but i have read of such things as the nsa being in collusion with interdimensional beings. i read one story of a family being targeted by inter dimensional beings and when an author went to investigate was warned off by the nsa. there was a group of four of them, one had a heart attack, one threw himself under a train after starting to hear voices, one dropped his investigation and became a cop and the other continued investigating and wrote a book. nothing bad ever happened to him or the other one…which kinda makes you question the validity of the nsa threat in the first place but what the author was trying to get across was that there are inter dimensional beings and that the nsa is well aware, neigh more than that, actually has some sort of working relationship with some of them.
have you had a brain scan for your implant? i have and of course there was nothing there. my brain was completely normal, no implant, no enlarged ventricles, no abnormalities whatsoever. but then i think i knew somewhere inside myself that there was no nsa involvement at all. sometimes i almost wish there were because then this whole thing would be faceless but there you go. my enemies have faces and they are people most people idolise…wrongly, but there you go. no, no nsa involvement at all.
!