Schizophrenia.com

Something said to me in my last session


#1

My CPN tried explaining to me how thoughts can turn into auditory hallucinations but I just don’t want t believe it! They’re real! They come from all around me they’re from the implant in my head so far I haven’t found anything to discount that there is an implant that was placed when I was a child, my cpn is writing to my GP to ask about the results of my MRI of my head but how can I trust that?! He’s in on it! Since he mentioned they’re thoughts they’ve been mocking me saying ‘we are you, we are you!!’ It’s. depressed me, how am I supposed to get rid of them if they’re me? If they’re people from the implant it can be stopped but my thoughts feel more out of my control. I trying cbt for my thoughts but its hard when he mentioned them being thoughts I just didn’t want to acknowledge it ever since I’ve been in a daze and feeling destructive It’s made me sad maybe they won’t ever go away. Maybe this is as good as its gonna get. Has anyone else had to confront themselves like this? I feel so lost and tired I don’t like changing my views it’s making me bad I was so comfortable with my beliefs even though they were scary they were explained, now I’m having to question everything I feel stupid, how could I let this
happen? I’ve been lost for years but I don’t feel grounded now that I’m on the right medication I’m not completely symptom free so I don’t think that helps. I just want to understand again, have that certainty. I don’t know why I’m posting I just needed to post where hopefully people understand. Does anyone have any advice?


#2

only thing i can suggest is to try and trust what the doctor says and try and tell him how you feel, he or she is a professional and they know what to do, what to say, you are in good hands i think, take care.


#3

its horrible isn’t it cause my voices ARE SO REAL TO ME.
being told its cause your bonkers doesn’t help with anything really does it lol.


#4

My doc never told me my voices weren’t real. He just told me how to ignore them or work around them.


#5

I too never had a doctor tell me the hallucinations weren’t real they just told me how to deal with them. One doctor suggested yelling at them, which sometimes helps but most of the time just makes people stare at me. One doctor told me to start trying to find distractions. So when i’m not around anything that could distract me i start counting fingers which drives people crazy.


#6

I was told that my voices were me- I remember telling the guy who was evaluating me that I heard people laughing at me and they must be outside in the hall- he said “No, that’s you.” I really came to grip reality better when I realized so many things werent real


#7

it’s hard having ur beliefs destroyed but it’s better than believing in an implant isn’t it? u know they’re not gonna find anything on the mri. been there done that. then i thought that the results had been swopped or the technicians were “in on it” just like u think ur dr is in on it. face it. ur ill, very ill. try every med u can because one of them just might work and u will have silence in ur mind. isn’t that what u want? the cpn and dr can help u achieve that. ok, so they may never go away but it means that ur ill, not that u have an implant. please listen to the people that can help u the most, ur mental health team. good luck hunni. am here if u ever need grounding. xxx


#8

I do this, but I make sure I’m holding one of my sisters old cell phones so people just think I’m having an angry conversation. The other day I saw a guy a walking down the street, nice suit, brief case, and he was just yelling all sorts of stuff. I wanted to go up and say, “Hey man, it will all be Ok, you can ignore those voices.” But then I saw he had a bluetooth thing in his ear. So even non-sz people are just yelling at their head. What a great advancement technology made there… :wink:


#9

Thank you everyone your replies mean a lot to me, I only vaguely remember posting this so must have been in a zone when I posted. I’m trying to listen and I’m going to have a conversation with him about it next time. I just don’t know really what I’d rather, I’d like to see them differently but sometimes they feel more real than the people around me. So it’s hard but I’m listening and will continue to listens thank you for you ever so kind replies, it really helps x


#10

Just as a side idea… I know I read better then I listen. There was a time I had to ask people to write stuff down for me. I didn’t tell them it was due to my voices though. I told them I was having such a hard time remembering anything that they better just write it down so I know the conversation happened.


#11

Hi, I can relate with my own context of course. At times I feel like I’ve been lost for years in different ways. I dig that you can hear the stuff that your worker who is writing the letter to your gp. I have my own truths about situations and why things are or have come unstuck too. Then found out how in denial I was of the truth. What schizophrenia brings to my life is the ability to take every day one at at time, and be gracious that we have the technology of science to help manage schizophrenia.