I have a voice, I don’t hear him anymore but I still know what he’s thinking from time to time. He puts me down and judges my decisions. Often he’ll judge me when I’m in public, like standing in line at the grocery store or going to turn paperwork in or little errands like that. Well right now he’s thinking I’m a hideous monstrosity that deserves to die. I’ve felt this way before and I’ve tried to take my own life. I don’t like this feeling. I feel like he’s judging me for wanting to better myself. It’s like some weird form of self doubt or something. I know I’m not supposed to associate the voices with my subconscious mind trying to tell me something, that’s just a delusion, but it really feels true.
I think the first step is to get rid of the voice. Then somehow stop assuming you know how the voice thinks of you. I don’t believe the voice is part of you. I think it comes from something external. Do you think it is possible you are feeling a little down and that is why these thoughts are being prominent.
I am no authority on this but I know you are a kind person and you should not have to face severe criticism.
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That’s a kind thing to say. Thank you. I wasn’t feeling down, I was feeling up, that’s why it kind of surprised me that it came up. And no one said anything negative. So I don’t know.
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