Trying to survive but lost

DX'd - Other
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I feel hopeless
I tried antidepressants again but they make my head even worse, so disconnected from myself and any spontaneous thought, auto pilot
I cannot be fixed i stopped them so now i am just on Clopixol (antipsychotic), Diazapam( a benzo) and metformin (diabetes) im slowly regaining thoughts that are mine but the aliens are still intruding with thoughts and im getting more depressed. I cannot see much better things to come its bleak i know.
Somehow i must make it to the end of my life without ending it myself first
Sorry

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Want to talk? @anon85745701

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Not good company tonight

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Ok, just chat without :slightly_smiling_face: reason

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Thanks 12121212

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I will be here if you want

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How r u? 12121w1w

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Listening music…
I’m from Eastern Europe

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We have heatwave in Britain sun mon tue
I gotta cheer up but i can’t think of anything good to think of sorry

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I think you are overwhelmed a bit…

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Almost deleted this account
Because couldn’t think anymore
Meds r not always as they supposed to appear

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I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I hope you can figure things out I know it took mood stabilizers for me to feel okay

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Hey i’m going through some stuff too. I was googling “Are we in hell?” And I came across a good quote: “I don’t think we’re in hell. If we were, there wouldn’t be weed and anti-depressants. I think we’re in heck” Replace the weed with beer and you have my life pegged down to a tee. I can’t stop seeing patterns in the license plates, no matter how hard I try. I am haunted by 36 and it is used to deliberately control and manipulate me. I am powerless and there is nowhere to go. So I drink :+1:

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@Twialine @crazydiamond444

Thanks for being here
Ive not been around much these past few weeks cos of med change
But im getting back to how i was now , thinking a bit more so can chat here again
I struggle on the meds but the antidepressant really @#$% ed me up even more , nasty pills

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@anon85745701 meds can mess you up I’m sorry you can’t find what’s right for you yet but I think you’ll get it

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Thanks @Twialine
I have sz personality disorder agoraphobia social phobia depression
I am doing best i can
I don’t feel like experimenting with anymore meds

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I understand that just don’t let yourself get to an awful spot you feel like you can’t get out. Remember it has to be dark to see the stars

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@anon85745701
im sorry you are feeling so down

do you have any hobbies or distractions that will get you out of your own head

the more you think about death the worse it gets

take it from another waiting for death

let it happen when its suppose to dont rush it

it will get better at least thats what everyone tells me

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Drink is a trap an depressing trap too
Im sorry you have to drink the torture
@crazydiamond444 go easy take it easy on the booze. Hugs

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I have problem with noise i cant cope with any noise
I watch tv for about 3 hrs a week at best
I cant concentrate and get audio disturbances with voices threatening from tv and radio so dont too much and hear and see things. I dont cope with noise and prefer quiet silence