Schizophrenia.com

Trapped in isolation


#1

I’ve always been isolated my whole life. Trapped in a world of confusion and disorganized thoughts. I was delusional for over half my life now : Grandiose delusions and many other typical schizophrenic episodes. My sense of self has never been that good. I’m 41 and I still hold out hope that there is some way out of this isolation, but I also doubt it. I’ve just never meshed with people well, I don’t even mesh with myself well. My mind is either blank or filled with depression, insecurity or unfocused very random thoughts. It makes it very hard to hold a conversation with someone. I tend to isolate since I think nothing can be accomplished by trying to socialize. I’ll just be quiet or embarrass myself trying to speak. I’ve been through this cycle my whole life. It’s been a hard life. Anyone else experienced a life as horrible as this one? Is there any hope for me?


#2

Are you on medication? Maybe too much or too little? Or maybe you need to try a different one?

I guess it has something to do with communication skills. How is communicating with your doctor?
Or maybe due to negative symptoms that might be affecting your motivation or emotional expressions?

Just try to get used to talking on here, it can help.

Have you ever tried social skills programs or day programs? They sometimes suck, but at least you’ll feel accepted. Use that feeling as a basis for the next step forward.

Or CBT with a psychologist might work. Or maybe assertiveness training which can help you have a sharper sense of your identity.

I hope this helped.


#3

I sure can identify with the isolation. I barely spoke my whole life due to being too shy to speak out loud, especially around strangers.
Something changed in me in the last few years, I will be 50 in a few months, and Even though I still prefer to isolate, I find most of my communication problems don’t bother me anymore. Guess I hit a phase I just don’t give a damn about what anybody thinks of me and if I have to physically live out my life here in this place, then I’m going to do what I like and actually seek out enjoyment.
Nothing more miserable than a life without enjoyment, and nothing sweeter when you discover it’s never to late to find enjoyment.


#4

I’ve been through periods of deep isolation and fear, either due to meds or negative symptom. But it was pointed out to me that social skills are just that…

They are skills… and skills can be learned and practiced.

If you have access to a day hospital you might want to see if they can help with this. Or see if there is a support group in your area just to get used to the idea of building up the social skills.

I have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but I feel better then I used to. I keep working at it, and somedays are better then others, but I try not to let my bad days set me back, and I try to work a little harder at saying hello and small interactions.

Start small and work up. I’m rooting for you


#5

Hmm… I know it seems like you have bad socialing skills and your going to live in isolation even longer. But goodness, over 20 years with this illness. For someone to endure that you must be strong. Keep your hope, but if your hoping to get a better life, you have to take action. I get unsocialiable and have dealt with every symptom you told about, just not as long as you. Life short, regrets are worse then faliures of trying.


#6

I can talk up a storm sometimes at work with co-workers. I can even talk to girls (women) which was a MAJOR problem which I struggled with when I was younger…OK…I’m lying. It’s still difficult. But I talk to women all the time. I’m afraid I take it for granted but I am almost forced to talk because I work with, and around women and I need to communicate to get the job done. i often start off beautifully in conversations with men or women but I start second-guessing myself and then the negative self-talk kicks in, “Oh, I don’t talk”. “Oh he/she doesn’t care what I think”. “She probably thinks I’m a jerk or ugly”. And this ruins the rapport. I start going BACK to the beginning of the conversation where I messed up to try and fix it but it’s too late and I trail off into not talking. But haven’t we all heard dozens of times that it’s never too late to learn social skills?


#7

in the darkest place in the universes, where everything has been destroyed, civilisation has been wiped out,
even in such a place there is always hope…
take care


#8

Feel free to chat with us here. We value your presence.


#9

@darksith tell me what’s the best place you’ve traveled too. One day sober I traveled through a yellow wormhole into some weird dimension, were have you been.


#10

that sounds cool the yellow wormhole.
i see these blue people they can see time from the beginning to what is beyond…
they took me to where they live, it is a void between two universes…within the void are sixteen columns , eight on either side, they are as big as this earth, they seemingly float in space.
there small city is nestled in between three of these columns as if floating…
inbetween the columns is a door way to an infinite amount of universes, never ending…
they watch all time, they are very peaceful , translucent, tall , kind and knowing…
it is a really beautiful place.
take care


#11

You guys sure you aren’t looking in a mirror?


#12

I am like you trapped in isolation. I don’t leave the house except to go to doctor’s appointments and grocery shopping. My therapist is working with me with trying to speak to people in the settings that I find myself in. Like saying good afternoon. Which doctor are you seeing? What do you think of this weather. It’s hard but I try every once in a while. So far I have had mostly positive results a few negative. Give it a try.


#13

**Welcome to the 50`s! It is just like that. **


#14

Did those columns have names?
Tower of M*******?
I’ve been told by this man I have known all my life that when the end of this world comes, he was invited to live in these towers in a different (?)universe, he said I was invited by name to join as well. Seems only room for a select few that are hand picked because of their abilities that they can contribute to the community.
After all was said and done, as hokey as it sounds, there is some little part of me that believe it as truth.
I have witnessed the blue lights and red lazer lights, even colorful “sparklies” and lights that slowly bounced around inside our house, even a bright white “portal” to another side. Not to mention the 3 people with a clipboard and dog that gets quiet with that “tweee” whistle when they thought I was asleep.


#15

that sounds cool, but know they did not have names, the columns, not that i remembered.
but they, the aliens, have taken me to lots of different places.
there are a 100 million universes on our side…when you go through these columns that are as big as earths you then go through to an infinite amount of universes…
it is beautiful, and amazing.
there are millions of species out there, even other human species like ours…
they tell me that our world , and one other liveable world ,are the farthest out .
take care