I sit behind my computer screen and do nothing for hours, just watching youtube videos and not really engaging in anything. I used to like to chat, but I feel like I am apathetic and running out of things to say. I don’t even enjoy music. I feel like I’ve heard it all a hundred times, and most of the time I cannot tune into movies anymore. I currently do not watch any TV shows. I don’t find any of the ones playing this season interesting.
You basically described my life right now, (on youtube all the time) I hate it. So I ordered sarcosine for my negative symptoms to try to fix it. I will let you know how it works out when I get the supplement. I feel you man.
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Yeah man that’s all I do.
That’s exactly how my life is, lol!!
Plus, I read all these “how to make your life better” or “how to be happy” web articles on my PC just to stop myself from a happier life.
Yes. I’m very isolated. Its so hard for me to meet people. I’m so thankful for this forum because I was literally drowning in loneliness. Even when I’m in crowded room I feel like I’m the only one there. I have been rejected and cast out. I would love to just be able to have a cup of coffee with someone. When my best friend Sandy (also szs) died she took a huge chunk of my heart with her.
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My time is spend during the day going from forum to forum trying to see if there are things I can reply to v checking my email and rss feeds. After a while if there is not much going on the urge to escape to bed and sleep through a few hours takes over. I am very much in isolation ,going long periods without prolonged face to face interaction with anyone.
What I do is go on a health kick for a few weeks and then let myself go again. I still drink though. I just drink white wine instead of beer and go easier on it. Nowadays I just feel burned out and can’t find the motivation to exercise and be active.
That’s very sad. Sorry for your loss.
I get the isolated even in a crowd thing.
I’ve got a long way to go before I’ll be good at socializing like I used too.
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I simply can’t handle pot now that I’m sz. My mind doesn’t trust itself. It’d probably bring back memories of what life was like before the illness making my symptoms seem all the more weirder.
Can’t handle that ■■■■. Not even gonna try.
Waste of money too.
Thank you @SoitGoes. She was a very special person and we shared a lot in common. Sometimes that happens I guess.
In real life I mean 
Yeah. I have days where if I chose to I could probly just sleep for 24 hours
I understand. When the people start dying I’ll probably realize how awesome they are/were. None of my college friends ever reach out to me though so for now “■■■■ em”
It is called a fair weather friend.
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Never heard that before. I’m skipping this wedding that they’ll all be getting together for. Really it’s not them I’m avoiding but the whole ■■■■■■■ ceremony and all the family and that ■■■■■■■■.
Still though. Months go by. Only one of them ever texts me. They all know I got sick they’ll play nice when I reach out to them… But never care to get in touch.
Fair weather friend. Perfect. Unfortunately I am the never ending storm.
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We all are. 
This is not something sane people will ever understand though I give credit to though who try.
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Yeah some learn with time. They’ll never know what it’s actually like though. They’ll only see what’s on the surface.
I wouldn’t wish it on them either.
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You can’t. But I do encounter healthy people who dont treat us bad. They are out there
Some of my online friends believe me that I talk to a paranormal entity. I have a family member who also takes it seriously.
From my perspective, I am sane, and it is the general pop that is ignorant.