My cousin told me to refer to his son as him or they when referring to him.
Yes and that’s where the issue is. No body needs to know their assigned birth unless they offer that. He is her son. That is all
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Ok got you @Moon
Thanks for letting me know this.
The last thing I want to do is hurt him
I understand where you are coming from, but when those who would support you are confronted in a hostile manner for mistakes, and I’m not saying noise did, but in general, it will only sow dislike from those that would support you.
I’ll be honest with you @Moon , we have been on this forum together for 3 years and I’m still not sure what pronouns to use with you. I always play it safe with they/them, but I might make a mistake someday, and I would expect you to take it in stride and correct me politely without animosity. Pronouns can be confusing.
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I do get that that happens, it’s unfortunate.
And me personally, I’m at the point where I don’t really care what pronouns people use unless they’re trying to be rude about it (like intentionally). I use he and she pronouns, I don’t expect anyone to just know as I intentionally dress to confuse people (gender chaotic good)
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@Bowens this explains this better than I can
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Pardon my ignorance @Moon but do you identify male and female?
I don’t know @Moon . Now its seems like you are calling me prejudice because I dont want to be assaulted for making a mistake. I dont like the inference. I use the pronouns people want, but I dont expect to be outcast because I make a mistake.
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Honest mistakes happen. People will not win over others with hostility towards those who support them.
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@Bowens I know this isn’t a comfortable conversation but I think it’s important to talk up front about. I’m not saying you’re a transphobic bigot, I’m saying there’s more work to be done, as is the case with literally any unlearning. I don’t think any one was attacked in this thread for making a mistake, we are trying to have an up front honest conversation about how these things make us feel.
@Wave i am bigender, which is a non binary identity, and I identify as male and female
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Well, i didnt read the whole article but from what I read it basically said that I was a bigot for saying it should be done politely without malice.
That would be some black and white thinking
Prejudice happens even in some of the most socially aware people I know.
We have generations and generations of engrained prejudice built into our biology— it is part of being human, but something we should strive to not do.
If you read the article I don’t recall it ever saying bigot.
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ok, it said I was prejudice.
People make honest mistakes. It’s not fair to them to be shown aggression for it. And it doesnt make them prejudiced.
maybe i didnt get the whole gist of the article. I honestly am too lazy to read it all.
I don’t really understand where you’re getting aggression and malice from tbh
Maybe you’re playing on a trope to get your point across idk
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If you’re too lazy to read the article, hey that’s fair.
But I’m not continuing this discussion.
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I thought they were saying that “doing it politely” was what people told them to do but it was a doouble standard. sigh fine, I will reaqd the whole thing.
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I read 75% or the article. I dont think it applies to my argument. I’m talking about mistakes not deliberate actions. Someone saying “daughter” instead of “son” or “him” instead of “her” are easy mistakes to make. In the culture that is evolving it’s getting so someone cant make an honest mistake without being ostrasized and outcast. I am happy to accept yours and others pronouns. I just dont expect to be assaulted for an error. Thats all Im saying. If I deliberately offend you, fine, go ahead and assault away, but people make mistakes, its as simple as that. Intent should be the determining factor, not errors.
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and btw, I have been mistaken for a girl for my profile pic many times. I could care less.