So I think my therapist keeps getting disappointed that I’m not scheduling a med eval with the psychiatrist but the more I think about it the more unappealing it becomes to me. I’m supposed to schedule a neurological exam too, because the therapist/psychiatrist think I have some symptoms that could be indicative of seizures. (Not grand mal or anything, but partial, and my brother gets partial motor seizures quite often so I wouldn’t be surprised if I get visual ones or whatever) But I don’t know when I have time to do that, and they’re gonna take 10 years to fit me in probably. What do I even say when I call them? I probably have to tell them about my psychosis, right? Or can I just tell them about my visual hallucination stuff? I hope it’s not crazy expensive…I have pretty good insurance so hopefully not. I think if the neurologist doesn’t find anything I’ll more strongly consider going on medication.
Also I was an idiot and watched something that massively triggered me last night. I’ve been out of it since then, HEAVY derealization. I remember having to hide in the bathroom because I couldn’t freak out with my roommate in the room. Everything seemed like a painting or something that I was in.
Then I started feeling like I was everything again. It’s the weirdest sensation. Like I am the universe and I just happen to be flowing through this body, which is moving along like a puppet. I can’t even explain it properly. Everything is so weird. I feel kind of silly too.
I hate winter time on the east coast lol.
