For my doc the main was to lower first my fears and my paranoia. So should I accept that my thought poverty is a temporary thing? That I can recover on this but first, I should be calmer?
thanks in advance for your answers 
what are some things you enjoy to do @Anna1 ?
selene, I am happy sometimes when I succeed to clean my house or something like this. But its never 100% . I lost my naturality with this illness. I am quite ill, I realize it. those meds should start working one day or ill accomplish nothing even if I pay efforts. My mind is just â– â– â– â– â– â– up for now and I guess I turned to be a bad person. I had really bad thoughts in the past, I was becoming aggressive too. ill hope that ill change faster than I imagine right now. After the take of my Zyprexa in the evenings I start to feel something different but its for a few time. maybe I need a bigger dose of an ap but ill wait now on my 10 mgs. its been just 3 months that I raised my ap.