I dont understand a thing :(

I had this problem without my ap… its not better after a month on it. I just read some things and I don’t get a thing… you think that I can recover with time and efforts? for minniie, it took a year to get well… I am sad, really sad… nobody isn’t interested in me but me iam the same… I am a little bit dead, its not only the meds, its me. I just wanna feel and love and to love life again…

i think you can recover, maybe not fully but with help i think you could learn a lot on here, just listening and basically interacting some times, i think you could do well, its hard to read this forum even after loads of practice, takes me a lot of energy to post this like its not easy

With this disease, it is sometimes very hard to be positive about anything, but your thought patterns are so negative you’re not even giving yourself a chance to recover. Try to think of at least three positive things a day. Maybe you listened to a song you really like, or you got to watch the sunset. You don’t have to actually feel happy about those things. Just remind yourself that they happened and they were good things. The cycle of despair you’re in is hard to break, but you’ve got to try.

I am feeling lifeless, I dont do as much, little pleasure, I sleep on the couch for most of the day etc…

I am not blaming it all on my AP, I take Risperdal and am on a pretty low dose.

I think that its depression - Maybe you are depressed, an antidepressant can help you or at least CBT.

I cant take antidepressants because they make me Manic or Mixed and they increase Anxiety in me.

I would talk to your psychiatrist about trying an antidepressant - it could help @Anna10

cj, I go out already, I buy things which makes me happy :slight_smile: I even forbidden myself to have fear to a point that I remain like in a freezed state when it gets to thinking… I basically forbiddened myself to think negatively but the result is that I don’t think a lot… I am coming in recovery after 15 years of despair and madness so it will take time… daydreamer, I know that the recovery in sz is relative - for instance I don’t have a good memory, I forgot some things of my past etc but lots of people live like this so its possible I guess :D… cj, sorry to be negative but its only here that I find support. i know, people here on the forums are getting fed up by me but for the moment this is my life. i basically lived suicidal for 10 years,even more.
i keep going yeap :wink:
p.s.its a pity that i cant feel anymore, hope it returns :slight_smile:

@Anna10 you on meds for a month?..prior to this how long did u have the med?

zenmonk, its just a month that i raised my zyprexa from 5 mg to 10 mg… before that i was trying the most of the aps for months for some. i had real bad side effects from some etc… i stay on zyprexa because i don’t even feel it, i don’t have side effects from it besides the weight gain… i notice maybe that i am less interested in things but i had this without the meds. probably it will go away with the time :slight_smile: otherwise, i avoid watching people outside, imagine what it is when there are a lot of people, i just don’t know where to put my eyes and its a source of paranoia…

I really feel you should give Psychotherapy a chance, It will surely be helpful. Do talk and properly coordinate with your Mom on this thing.

I didn’t understand a thing the first 23 years of my life. The difference is I thought I knew a lot. Now I understand more but acknowledge I can know more. I can relate and yes you can recover from this.

me too I thought I knew a lot.wow :)… now I see that the knowledge is infinite, there are also the meetings with all this people out there…:slight_smile: I have hard times still explaining the things to the others, still this impression that I suffocate. I should relearn even this- talking and explaining, so you can imagine.
take care

I think that you are very intelligent @Anna10 …and am sure you would do tremendously good.

thank you zenmond, my ex was also thinking this… the problem is that his father was schizophrenic as well, so he carries his troubles with this probably. I thought I was in love with him but it wasn’t love, it was my obsession. i hope one day ill be happy with a guy or a girl(still don’t know who I like). I sometimes have this ‘‘I wanna fuck’’ look which scares me mostly. I don’t want to get in troubles with some bad intentionate guys because of this :/… now you know a lot about me already :)…

otherwise, somebody here who finds that aps are bad for their intellect? personnaly, I think there is something like that for me…