This pathetic life

being at the bottom of the totem pole, i can’t handle it, and i don’t have the ability to change my situation. im stuck between a rock and a hard place.

this illness of the mind has really got me down.

This is today… there’s always tomorrow and things will change…
You won’t feel this way forever…look to that day…
Keep your head up…

I know that if I don’t spend time at my clubhouse program or if I’m not otherwise involved in some sort of structure providing thing that my demons are just below the surface waiting to eat me alive…calling out to me telling me to delve back into my delusions or smoke chemicals that I couldn’t even pronounce if I even knew what they were called.

So I keep busy even though I’m on disability.

There are drop in centers, clubhouse programs, support groups, therapy groups and plenty of non-profits always looking for volunteers.


The haiku poet Issa helped me to appreciate pathetic or otherwise overlooked or undervalued life including my own.

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yes, schizophrenics (like myself) are kind of “stuck” when they live on disability payments, just being sick or unstable, have addictions…

I look to God for strength.

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Not all of your crazy is crazy and you are also not always wrong.
You’re not alone in your plight either.

I think the reason I had an easier time overcoming SZ is because I grew up with comic books instead of the Bible.

Try to think that it will get better. I’ve been in that dark pit myself. I got help to get me up and out of there. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Things can look that way at times. Try to make the best of it.

Also. Try addressing some other probs on here and asking yourself what you would do.
If anything like myself when my life fell into The Grande Stupid you’ll probably find gut wrenching dread when reading some of this stuff and thinking “OMG we’re all f***ed.”

The more you take quiet breaks to walk the probs through your imagination pretending to respond (or teach a child what you’re attempting to sleuth) the more you’ll find better insight on these subjects beginning to sink in.