My school website has removed my financial aid and i dont know why. I am aure it is because they found some way to disqualify me. Nothing can ever work out for me. They have made me fail…this disorder or if Im right, the entities I have shunned through medication and believing i am “ill” will have their ultimate revenge on me by ensuring I kill myself. Maybe I have to die. It is about to be my only option left. My body is ruined bc of medications. My mind is ruined because of my weakness. And the uphill battle against all that wants to beat me down in this world. All the “systems” in place designed to force me over the edge. But in the end its all, all my fault. I couldnt be stronger, better. Achieve what I was meant to
I’m sorry about your financial aid. Here is a list of scholarships for people with mental illness. Maybe one of these can help you.
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I dont think any of this can help me. Its too late, they dont offer enough money, and i doubt i have what it takes to win them in the first place
Thanks for trying 
Some of them are for the spring semester, and the deadline isn’t until December. Each one alone isn’t enough, but maybe all together they might help. And you’ll never know if you have what it takes unless you try.
I have to take my fall classes to go to school in the spring…and it wont help when they kick me out of school to begin with…theyve thoroughly demonstrated they dont want me there they just fear repurcussions bc of the ADA…
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Have you talked to the financial aid office yet about why your aid isn’t showing up? It could be a computer glitch. That happened to a friend of mine.
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Im waiting on a response…business hours are over…but something is always wrong because i cannot be allowed to succeed. Im such a fuc king failure and i know i dont even deserve my god forsaken life
I felt the exact same way yesterday. I even made a post about it.
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I would agree but i think sometimes you can fail so miserably at the one thing that was vital to your existance and there is no mollifying the situation after so much of it. I dont know if its my fault, what THEY did to me, or what THEY are doing to my universe. You are lucky to have mr star. If anyone in my life knew how hugely i had fuc ked up they could never love me.
You have no idea how badly I’ve screwed things up in my life. But nothing is so bad that you don’t deserve to have a good life still. You can slowly work on fixing things, and over time it will get better.
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I hope youre right…im at the point where it seems like not only would suicide be my only option, it has to be that way, a sick kind of divine intervention
Do you have anyone you can talk to when you feel like this? If you think you might actually hurt yourself, please call emergency services right away.
My therapist told me to contact her if i felt this way but i have no idea how in the hell to contact her
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
You can call or do the online chat option with the suicide prevention hotline.
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They ask for your zip code…that makes me nervous
They can’t track you down by your zip code. There are thousands of people living in that zip code. It’s just so they can recommend local resources.
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Waited half an hour and never got connected. See? The universe will not rest until it destroys me
Please don’t kill yourself, @Lex7con, things will get better, I promise. Suicide is too permanent a solution to a temporary problem.
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I’m sorry. It’s a very underfunded program. They don’t have enough operators to keep up with the demand always. How are you feeling now?
My situation is not as bad as i thought but i still think the pattern of the universe is working to make me want to, have to, die. But today i feel a bit more like i can resist it