Schizophrenia.com

Thinking out loud

Now that I’m quitting Geodon, I’m having some weird side effects of withdrawal.
I can’t focus well and have no desire to do anything, although I push myself.
But what worried me the most is that yesterday my friend thought I was talking to him.
My thoughts are so intense that sometimes I’m moving my mouth as in talking when I do not really want to talk.
It’s been happening for about 2 weeks now since I went down from 80 - to 40 mg of geodon. My doc’s appointment is soon but has anyone experienced something like this? I’m not talking to myself but it feels like it. My thoughts are too intense. :flushed:

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Hmmmmm. I keep a very close eye on keeping spoken words and thoughts separate.

Psychosis stays in.

Wish I had some advice. You should be able to catch your mouth moving if you start watching for it.

I’ve had little phases where I’m squinting or blinking to much. My face is too stern. Tongue is nervous and puts pressure on my teeth. A lot of subtle physical neurosis. They can be overcome.

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I am very sensitive to coming off meds. I have to reduce very slowly. Maybe halving your med is a little too much too soon?

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yeah could be. Maybe it was too low dose. Next step I’m gonna go down to 20 if there is a 20 mg pill. I’m also gonna ask him to increase my new med Latuda if I can take more. :pensive:

Yeah I am sure your doctor will know what’s best. Am really impressed that you are still working whilst changing meds. I know a lot of folk who need to go on the ward when changing meds. It can be very hard.

Have you done any group therapies or therapy in general? CBT is pretty powerful kind of lets you reshape the mind a bit.

I lost my full time job last month but I also work from home. I have a few projects right now that I’m seriously procrastinating. But I can still be productive. As long as I have my sanity, I can push myself. Just these weird side effects worry me sometimes. Sometimes when I go to the psychiatry department at the hospital, I see these people who look completely psychotic, the clothes they wear, their appearance, they talk to themselves. And I wonder if I’m gonna be like that one day. I still look like a normal person even during my psychosis and I can socialize.

no I’ve never done any therapy but I will ask my doc.

It is a powerful tool to be mindful when dealing with mental illness. You get a full sense for how you operate, then you start to see why things happen, and then you can slowly figure out how to change it.

Granted our illness are more or less polar opposites within the spectrum. I was hallucinating constantly there for 2+ years. It’s finally not so bad any more.

Dealing with sporadic delusions, that’s got to be a challenge.

yeah I completely lose touch with reality and my logic reasoning disappears. I do some crazy stuff too that I wouldn’t normally do but people can’t really tell anything if they don’t know. It really takes me a long time to come back to reality. It’s like pouring a bucket of ice water on me the minute I come back to reality, my face flushes and I’m like wow. I don’t know how to explain that moment of realization. Anyway, my doc diagnosed me with delusional disorder, it’s very rare but my psychosis is really odd.

Do you not feel like you are yourself? Is it like a fugue state?

I doubt you will end up like that. Mental illness comes in all shapes and sizes, some cases are harder to treat and others you wouldn’t think twice about them if you saw them in the street. I had a friend who was mentally ill, he had all his front teeth missing, towards the end of our relationship he would respond to his voices by yelling at them. Just pure nonsense.

I wouldn’t talk to myself in public and rarely do so in private, I’ve never been able to pinpoint anybody and say “they’re schizophrenic!”, but if 1 in 100 persons has it, you would cross a sz’s path every couple of days I assume, but they’d look like normal people except for the odd one out…

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I have met folk who look really disheveled but in their head they are not too bad. And then I have met folk who look normal but are having an awful time in their head. I suppose appearances aren’t everything.

But too be honest anyone who is on the sz spectrum has it hard. This ■■■■ ain’t easy.

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I do feel estranged. I don’t feel close to my family and friends, I feel alienated but I don’t feel like I’m someone else. At one point I thought my name was Annie but I don’t feel like another person. But it’s like a weird state of mind, I don’t know how to explain it. I live in a dream and walk on clouds. It’s like a fairytale psychosis. I also feel like an important person, people watching me, following me, cameras everywhere, I will also be high for sometime and laugh a lot.

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Hmmm. Kind of sounds like your smoking pot.(Not trying accuse you)

Glad you never lose yourself, To me that’s what true insanity is.

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I would get those exact symptoms when smoking pot. Thinking people referencing Jesus were talking about me, having cameras in the House for the world to watch, being an important POP figure etc.

It all ended shortly before I quit smoking when I almost got into a violent argument with my neighbor, I then understood he wasn’t a policeman charged with protecting me like I thought he was, and then I didn’t feel as safe as before.

I don’t think @waterway smokes weed, she told me she’s against it, I’m glad I stopped having these delusions which rarely creep in now, thinking you’re famous can really boost paranoia for me!

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Yeah I didn’t think she smoked, but that’s the only thing I could really use to relate. Like slipping into a different mind.

I’ve experienced some of that stuff while high.

lol it’s a funny occurrence. I don’t know many people who talk about jesus very often.

My hallucinations convinced me I was a jesus and then as I started to believe it they began insulting me for it. That’s a general theme of my psychosis.

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Man Jesus is everywhere! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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Jesus or jesuses? We are all jesus. lol.

Seriously though, the only religious person I know is my grandma. I have some other relatives whose families are all very religious but I tend to avoid them. Occasionally they’ll host a lunch and what not.

Can’t avoid my grandma though, that’d be unkind.

she has said some creepy ■■■■ to me.

“You never know what’s up there trying to destroy you.”

and

“Enjoy it down here, it was made just for you”

OH JEBUS - homer simpson

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my family is really religious except my dad, he’s a crazy guy but my mom really put a lot of effort into turning her kids into religion. I’ve smoked some stuff in my teenage years maybe twice with my boyfriend? But I just slept afterwards. I didn’t get high so I was never into it. Anyway, one time my psychiatrist asked me if I was Jesus and I thought maybe I am and I don’t know? Lol. But I thought at one point I was the mother of harlots from the bible lol, that was a weird and scary experience especially because I can count how many guys I’ve slept with. But I really believed that for sometime. I even looked into getting a dragon tattoo since my chinese sign is dragon.