These days are so strange

DX'd - Other
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Yesterday was fine, it was lovely. I was perfectly cheerful. Studied and was productive and all that. Sometimes there was this nagging sadness that tapped on my shoulder but I ignored it and focused on how beautiful the day was. And then night time came…and once it was night it was like my body just flipped out…around dinner at 6 I was already totally stressed…had a drink…wanted more but didn’t want parents to see me drunk or tipsy.

I tried to just watch my shows and read books but I was so anxious nothing stuck. I ended up nauseous and even gagging from stress. Ended up taking 2 klonopin and eventually falling asleep. It’s the trauma work that’s getting me. I knew this would happen. We’ve been working on traumatic stuff in therapy and it’s messing me up.

Today I have work and I’m dreading it. I’m sick of that job. I don’t even know why really as it’s fun, I’m just sick of it. No psychosis, no depression just…this random awful that strikes at night.

Summary: I want to run away from life right now. Want to quit my job. Feel like I can’t ever escape my past.

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When things seem overwhelming it’s helps to just break it down into smaller chunks. Just take it one day at a time, and if needed one hour at a time

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Be careful mixing booze with benzos.

4

Good advice, this, always!

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The idea is as follows.
Kick the can down the road.
We are living in magnificent times.
In the future all mental illnesses will get cured.
Bide your time,
and better times will arrive.

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6

My PTSD is like that. Seems fine during the day but as soon as night hits I’m miserable. I’m sorry you’re struggling.

7

I like it! :slight_smile: 15151515

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Night is so bad. They won’t ever leave me alone. I keep fighting but nothing makes them go away. They probably want me to do occult stuff again so they have more power over me. I don’t want them to touch me.