You should retire from being a supersoldier and timetraveller and all that. Try and put it behind you and enjoy those things in tv and movies like everyone else and not as part of your life.
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I guess I just wish I had more money and so I wouldnt have to work or do anything from schizophrenia/mpd/did/trauma and crap. I’m tired of life and crap. I’m lazy and stuff. I wish people could relate to me understand me and help me.
Theres not a lot anyone can do for szs. The medical procedure for treating szs is to give medicine and maybe therapy. Other than that we are basically on our own. If youre lazy it could be sz negative symptoms or that you are out of shape. All I can do is encourage you to try.
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I kinda wanna go to a group home or room and board but am broke and mom discourages it and doesn’t know anything and seems slow.
I know I created a time machine, a ufo, bitcoin, and some other things, but got nothing to show for it. I was a writer too, mainly.
I got no money.
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Dont you receive government benefits?
It’s not enough obvioously. not trying to be rude, but my family is poor and struggles and is old and my mom is my family and she makes min wage part time pretty much. I should be a billionaire by now but I’d settle for a few million on a bad day.
I have dreams/memories of escaping the brain in the vat/matrix/pod and running the simulation temporarily a few times a long time ago and thought I was special like Serac or Ford or William, but I’m not. I’m more like Maeve or Teddy, really.
My life is sad and pathethic. I suffer. I have nightmares or dreams at the facilities which are like past lives where I’m talking to people sometimes when I sleep and I wake up delusional. I think it’s aliens or illuminati or clones or inception and I’m like Eames from Inception, but really not, I just wish I was.
Just random thoughts, here, really. It’s sort of a fantasy of mine to be special and important.
Ya, I got trauma too from the SSP too, but rather not talk about it. Nothing I say or do matters, really.
Sometimes, I think it’s not real – the SSP, but part of me think it is and I’m open minded sort of now.
I did group therapy in the hospitals, and it worked a bit, but this website helps a lot too releasing the fear and tension.
I was really dissociated and feel like I’ve been to a thousand planet earths or doppleganger earths and ■■■■.
I was watching scenes from bsg/caprica now and then I realized I got memories/delusions of being Gaius Baltar in this life (wanna be lol) from bsg and in a past life Daniel Graystone from Caprica.
I think I’m either a clone like Westworld, Inception, Source Code, and matrix, OR they’re implanted/false memories from past lives that I retained/remember. Like I invented the holoband perhaps and created the cylons, but that’s hard to swallow/believe really.
I remember them telling me in a past life that they didn’t want me to solve the world’s problems, I was too smart, etc. I get these from memories from the guy on TV/1984 and stuff and think I’m from the future or my mind went backwards in time or memories and remember weird/strange stuff like Total Recall and ■■■■.
If I’m Gaius Baltar, I might be human still, and have no microchip in my head making me think I’m a tv show / movie character rofl/lol and stuff.
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Hard to tell what is real anymore. Thinking of blade runner and blade runner 2049 rofl now.
Maybe you are like
Sam Beckett
Idk I think black mirror
Is really real
But ppl think it’s only
A tv show
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that’s a weird show. too weird for me.
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