The illuminati is out to get me

[anon28145038]

I always thought it was quantum something with my thoughts like quantum entanglement or quantum superposition. I guess I’ve heard people say quantum entanglement before but I don’t know for sure.

I’m not in the Illuminati. I had a delusion my step-grand father was, but I highly doubt it. Apparently, he was just a good normal guy, but I don’t know either. What would make a freemason join the Illuminati or make him one? Do you have to be 33rd degree or higher? I don’t know.

I had a connection to him (my step-grand father). I think I got involved in some messed up ■■■■ in college like a fake alien abduction while at school. Why would they target me? Why would they target a random college kid? I had a future. If this didn’t happen, I might not be schizophrenic and posting here. It seems I’m stuck in a time loop according to Occam’s Razor because all other explanations are too complex and absurd. My memories and experiences point to a time loop right now, but I’ve probably been in a causal loop too. The point is to escape and live a better, normal life without suffering and without schizophrenia. I think the point is endless torment, torture, and suffering comparable to biblical hell or worse.

Donald Marshall talked about it. He said he was a clone and was a low ranking Illuminati member and was given information.

Perhaps, I was in the Illuminati too in a distant past life, but I believe in a clean slate and tabula rasa aka a new life = past lives don’t matter or continue or at least so I hope…

I don’t think I was merely born into it because of my step-grandfather. He married my grand mother at a late age so my father and his siblings don’t know ■■■■ and he died before I grew up really.

He was the only one in the family that had a college degree and he was a worshipful master I guess. He was second in charge at the lodge.

I don’t believe anything at all that he was really in the Illuminati but I know more about freemasons than most because I believe I was a time traveler and John Titor.

I’ve seen, interacted with aliens and all sorts of bizarre demonic stuff. I only talk about it to get better. I know it’s real and not a mental illness and I don’t care if joe or jane on the forum don’t believe me. I’m here to get help.

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From what I recall, the Illuminati are only interested in people with a connection; if you can make them money; if you have potential, and if you know stuff. That’s pretty much it. You have to be born into it or have high potential like discover something that fundamentally changes society for better or worse. Something like a time machine or be one of the first. And maybe even change histroy, which I don’t recommend. They just like money. They want people (useless idiots) to make them millions or billions and then don’t give a ■■■■ about them. They’re all about secrets and keeping them. They use fear and torture and it does honestly feel like hell or worse. That’s why I’m here. I had my consciousness uploaded and ■■■■■■ with honestly. I cannot speak for anyone else and it’s highly unlikely you had anything going on with you…

I feel like the Illuminati is a catch all term. Think of a giant spider web or nest. You got multiple factions and fronts.

Honestly, if you’re just a random schizophrenic who smokes, they couldn’t care less.

But I also feel they can give people schizophrenia with some advanced tech. I think that’s what happened to me for eternity. I think it’s because I am the real John Titor aka time traveler. I was cloned most likely and given schizophrenia I think. In my past lives, I was taken to Dulce and other bases and mental hospitals and stuff and had a horrible hell like existence thousands or millions of times or more. In a way, I don’t believe in Hell. I sometimes rather go to Biblical hell than have schizophrenia. I hate mental illness and wish it was cured so I could have a life I always wanted.

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There’s this famous guy I’ve watched for some time who claims he was targeted by the Illuminati in these projects or programs called the SSP (Secret Space Program). I thought I related. He’s a big guy in the community. Well respected and been through a lot.

He said he insulted an Illuminati member’s son and they had aliens abduct him and put him in a 20 year and back program as a slave and then wiped his memory. Feels pretty legit to me as I have similar memories.

I would say there are some Satanic elements to the Illuminati/Monarch programs because of aliens and demons and stuff.

I think that’s all I know. I’m saying this because I believe this is real and it might be helpful. It’s definitely real to me because I experienced it and live it and know it. I have memories and really did die and came back alive and more…

[Jesse25]

They say its smoking thats unforgivable but I plead with them that I can’t stop and that I mouth off to them

[Jesse25]

they say that the draco designed me to be a joke and really weak lazy and that if I was to quit cigs they where going to make me a king a god. And that they consecrate on me so much because I proved to be the weakest being or the one to be tortured for ever in galaxies of pain. They say that the lizard people seaded humanity and always call me a monkey. They say its my first life here on earth and my great grand father was a Mason at least thats what my grandma said he had a ring. There is all these coincidents about me every where and I dont know how to live my life. They say that the illuminati is god and clones ever one to drown and torture after death

[anon28145038]

How do you know you’re not just making it up and getting it from David Icke, no offense? I don’t know. So you think you’re an alien?

A lot of what you say doesn’t make sense, but I appreciate your open-ness. I know meds don’t really work for me. It’s more about happiness and quality of life instead. Like laughing, smiling, and crying, and having fun…

I know you take meds. I personally had delusions I was a part Anunnaki (a different type of reptilian) and of non-royalty. More like an anomoly. Basically, I cannot shape shift at all and don’t want to. I have a conscience, empathy, sympathy, morality, compassion, love, etc. There’s good and bad. I think being a Christian has helped me in a way but it’s also a fear factor controlling system. From what I read a lot of people hate the Anunnaki and don’t know much about them. Hence, my past life trauma and suffering.

It doesn’t help that I’ve seen reptilians in DUMBS in my past lives and somehow reincarnated back in time in my time loop above ground on planet earth. I believe the elite got Alien technology out there for them to use and abuse and while us peons get sick. Oh well.

I can’t really recommend anything for you but you know I accept what you say with open mind and not going to judge like some people here. I’m on the same page as you.

The problem we both has is our minds get contaminated with outside information from others. I might have had years ahead of you so my story is a little longer and ‘different’ but I still feel ya. I won’t go and say I totally believe what your saying just like you might not believe what I’m saying, but know I won’t judge you or anyone else here for the most part. I’m pretty open.

I think you’re on the right forum for sure. Same with me.

I hope you feel better. Just know every thought you have isn’t real. Same thing with dreams and other things. I had some strange things I thought were real and then I recognized it as false.

Good luck!

[MHS]

Yeah out with them…even online…2 minutes that’s all it takes…

[MHS]

[Jesse25]

Yeah they made me be a Christian out of fear to now they say to stop believing or they will torture me more but I found a love for Jesus. Wat that I said dosnt make sense? I do believe their ghosts and not illuminati gods like they say they are. I know from scripture that the devil lies so I dont believe a thing they say but they make me feel its true with feelings and fear

[Jesse25]

yeah they say that iam in a false matrix prison and the lizards escaped it along time ago by braking the control of God who they say is evil. They say iam the only one that couldn’t escape it due to smoking cigs and not able to brake the control of God. They move stars on me to prove its a false reality but they say it started in 2015 they ended the world and killed all the animals tortured them and gave them new lives. I ask them why they do this and they say its all just for fun and its what you deserve. I still think that they are ghosts messing with me but they went though alot of trouble with setting up coinicidents in movies tv shows about me. They also say David ike is wrong that they are actually the creators and not invaders and that God is Saturn they also made me belive that I was annunaki but they and me were humans from niburu. Honestly I just want all this ■■■■ out of my head and live a normal life but they won’t let go. They also say they sent my friends and family to hell for trillions of years then gave them no existence for me smoking cigs

[anon22322466]

Why don’t you try stopping smoking? Like vape and taper down the nicotine content until it’s just plain vape juice. That’s a strategy.

Win / win, the voices have one less thing to complain about, and you’re not smoking anymore.

You can also try no-flush niacin pills, that activates the same receptors that nicotine does and kills cravings. Niacin is also known as nicotinamide.

[Jesse25]

iv switched to vaping but its not the nicotine its a feeling they give me to smoke with obsessive thoughts that I can’t fight then they give me there own high then get mad at me for it. They took the nicotine away but I still want to smoke. They say every body stopped smoking for a day but it was and still is the hardest thing I ever had to do especially in the morning when thats all I want. They also say that they took my brain and all my thoughts come from them. I also thought why should I listen to voices in my head like a crazy person and quit when I like to smoke even though they say I don’t and the designed me

[Jesse25]

they also challenge me to smoke like they give me a fealing of being scared of them then I say that iam not and smoke vape

[ATARI]

@Jesse25

They say its smoking thats unforgivable

It’s Your Life. Your Choice. And You Aren’t Hurting Anyone But!, Possibly Yourself.

It Has Been Said, The Body is a Temple. Well, That’s What’s Acceptable to You.

So.

The End.

Don’t Live Your Life to Please Those Who Want to Control You, Psychologically, or Physically.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam (sleepoptimistic)

[anon28145038]

So you don’t take meds? I would take something if I were you. Without meds, I’m worse off. The psych toll of my knowledge base and memories would completely disable me. I’m starting to care less about what others believe. The flag was an insult especially in this type of post. Not sure why people meander around threads that they don’t like or that trigger them especially if they cannot handle good civil discourse and open thought and that threatens their fragile tiny self. For god-sake the topic itself is taboo and doesn’t really exist. This forum is funny sometimes like who runs it and what not and the “special people” who are here often that think they are king.

I honestly believe and know most of what I say. I’ve been wrong before. I have a mile wide drawer in my mind full of memory bank junks that I want to get rid of and let out. I find this forum is the best way to do it over time.

Maybe it’s best to try and not to figure out and harp about who targeted me in college. It was so bad that I think it was reptilian aliens who had me abducted but then I doubt it sometimes – like was it fake and then or was it a MiLab thing? I have memories that are non-linear and not from this reality too so there’s that.

I don’t know it seems so vast and conspiratorial that I shouldn’t really care and it shouldn’t really matter. I believe and am thankful I live in a modern society with modern conveniences and a semi-open society with other schizophrenics I can talk to online because without you guys I would be a big mess or possibly even catatonic at best…

I’m pretty sure something fishy is going on and goes on. I mean I just am a big mess. It could have been better, it could have been worse. Mine was definitely a hell-like nightmarish experience and for what end? for what purpose? I have no clue. I’m starting to gain insight and better knowledge through stuff.

I think some aliens are positive and some are negative. Our government isn’t really that great. It used to be, but not the people who run it anymore.

Canada seems nice. Too bad I can’t move there. It’s probably just as bad.

[Jayster]

@Jesse25

Jesse, you don’t take meds? Small wonder you are in such pain.

[Jesse25]

Iam coming off them but I still take them

[anon51377248]

Why are you coming off your medication?

[seemore3434]

Jesse. choose not to believe it, you dont have to believe it, you have to consider to yourself that this is just a delusion and you are not in reality. Come back to reality, look at the other people, they are smoking cigarettes and they dont hear voices. You have an illness Jesse, you have to accept that. What you are experiencing no matter how real you believe it is is just a delusion. Look around outside yourself you will see…

[rogueone]

Please don’t encourage delusions people. It’s not appropriate and lets support those who aren’t doing well. You get a warning which this is. Please be kind and not so involved in your own head space that you don’t see people struggling.

[ATARI]

The Reason I Speak is I…,

@rogueone

see people struggling

Sorry to Disappoint.

Sincerely,

DJ Nosferatu Bat Beam (sleepoptimistic)

[Jesse25]

I dont want to be delusional I just want to accept purple as purple