Om's madhouse 4


This is all the mythology of my voices/beings

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Even when i don’t have voices, they live with me, by my side.

They are always with me, narrating my life almost controlling my fears. That’s what my therapist helps with most, my fears

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Delusions seem like old memories, very distant. I feel sane now. But sooner or later, same delusions persist

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Oh yes. Annette narrates what I do. It drives me crazy

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Do you get paranoid ones?

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Not really. In the past i had paranoia about aliens, following me, spying on me, reading my mind. But I don’t have it anymore. I have many grandiose ideas

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Paranoia drives me crazy, quite literally.

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What kind of paranoid thoughts do you have?

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They’re following me
They’re going to kill me
They’re spying on me
There’s a sniper
Pretty much anything you can think of, I’ve had it.

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Once I had the experience of a sniper.
I was in my car and I bent over so the enemy wouldn’t see me.

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During the summer, I put up cardboard boxes over the window so they wouldn’t snipe me, or throw a grenade in the window.

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Do you have insight? A small part of you knowing that it’s irrational?

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I had to get my mum to turn the car round today. I thought we could go shopping but I was worried about surveillance agents. Gonna close my curtains now

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Now I do, I didn’t have it earlier when I was really unwell.

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Do you have paranoia often?

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You do have insight now, but they persist?
I have minor and major delusions, as I call them… Major ones are the problem. But minor ones are a pain in the ass too

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Pretty much all the time. Don’t hallucinate until im really stressed. Been smelling a brimstone smell in my flat, on the street and in mums car. I am hallucinating the smell

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Meds don’t help? Do you have insight?

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Yes I have insight now, but they do still persist. One thing that helps is keeping positive thoughts when I’m having a tough time.

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