The labels we apply to people when it comes to sexuality are crap and are an attempt to put people in ill fitting boxes. I call myself gay because I’ve almost always been attracted to men. But I use that term because it is easier to do so instead of saying, like everyone, who I’m attracted to comes on a person by person basis. There are some really sexually attractive men out there who do nothing for me because I talked to them for more than five seconds.
I say don’t worry about labels. If the person makes you feel happy, you feel attracted to them and them you, and they are appropriate for you, who cares?
oh lol well then…announces coming out party celebration lol just kidding (I’m too broke to host a party rn), but seriously, thank you, I feel a little better now…and also a little less out of place at the Gay Club!
Except that they do actually fit some of us nicely. Of course, no one is attracted to everyone of one sex. But a lot of us are exclusively interested in one sex, and have and will always be that way.
WHY do straight men go to gay bars to hit on women? Like seriously. The least they could do is be nice and respectful, but I’ve heard so many stories. I know they often aren’t.
It was literally horrible sexual harassment the entire night by straight dudes against lesbians. My cousin and the two women at our table were all very pretty and feminine dressed women and I counted 3 different straight men who stayed long past the “we’re gay, not into guys, sorry” line. At one point, one guy refused to leave. I was trying to look for a security guard to make really seriously “get over here” eye contact with, when my cousin screamed YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, GO AWAY and then we all clapped and he finally left (he only made 2 feeble attempts to come back after that). It really is disgusting.
It’s a part of that male entitlement, like all women are for my pleasure; your desires, or even your orientation, will not deter me. I hate that.
@anon9798425 I don’t really agree with that. There are people who identify with being straight a great deal more and much more easily than being bi or gay. But there are, in my opinion, no 100%s. I don’t believe there is anyone in this world who has never wondered.
These terms exist solely so that way cis men and women can hang with each other and not worry that they will be hit on by the evil homos. Why not live in a world with the understanding that people are attracted to different types of people and that is okay. You like a person, just tell them, without worrying that they will get frightened and punch you. It would be better for everyone.
Dude. You can’t invalidate my entire life of sexual experiences with your opinion that I’m really some percentage bi. That’s not any better than people denying you can be attracted to the same sex. I am 100% gay, and I’m seriously tired of bi warriors who live in their wishful world where they think everyone is really, deep down, like them. I’m NOT bi. Not a single percentage. I have never “wondered”. I’ve never felt attracted to a female, or even a female body part. The thought of being intimate in any way with a female disgusts me. Please respect my experiences. Please respect that I know more about myself than you know about me. Please don’t insist that everyone is bi. It’s ignorant.
@Futomimi. You realize that you just completely discounted Treebeards opinion and personal experience as somehow being inferior to yours. Irony duly noted.
I think you are misinterpreting @Futomimi
Labels are not helping those who are confused or just don’t fit (unless you create billions of labels). He is not saying we are all bisexual, i believe.
I’m 100% feminine gay, if that’s important for discussion.
He literally just said he doesn’t believe anyone is 100%. There’s not a single sexual feeling in me towards any woman. There’s no degree of female appearance I find attractive. Unless the scale he has in mind somehow includes completely non-sexual feelings and thoughts, which would be ridiculous when we’re talking about sexuality, he just invalidated my experience. That’s not OK.
I get that when you’re one way, it can be hard to imagine others being different. But when people tell you clearly that they feel so and so, it’s disrespectful to tell them that your opinion is that they don’t actually feel that way.
In the 1970’s and 80’s, the gay community consistently said that sexual orientation is fixed; it’s something that you’re born with. Thus it cannot be changed by therapy or anything else. Science supports this claim.
Over the last 10-15 years I’ve noticed many younger gay people saying that sexual orientation is fluid. Something that can change. Some people say that their sexual orientation varies from asexual to pansexual. It may be driven by inclusion, and inclusion is good, but I still believe that sexual orientation is fixed.
I am not trying to convince you that you want to have sex with women. I’m saying that human sexuality is complex. There are so many factors. There could have been this moment when you were younger that set your sexuality and you aren’t even aware of it. Am I saying that was impermanent and if you want to ‘try really hard’ you can change it? Or even suggesting that you should? Am I suggesting that you go out there and experiment?
No, absolutely not. I understand that you know what you like. But no one understands the human brain and when sexuality is determined except for that at a certain point it seems set based on a compelx combination of genetics and experiences.
You are what you are and I would never try to convince you that your feelings aren’t valid or the truth.
But these labels we put on each other are harmful. Gay, straight, bi is harmful. All I want is a world where people can just go up to someoene they like and ask them out. If they say no, that is fine. That is that and it’s over. No one gets offended and no one is shocked or feels emasculated because they were hit on by some one of whatever gender. We just accept that people are people and stop using labels that harm people.
It’s not harmful. Stop your crusade. I am freaking gay. Deal with it.
Yours is maybe complex. When it comes to this matter, mine is delightfully simple. Gay. Just like many others are simply bi or simply straight. Not harmful. The truth. You can call yourself whatever you like.
Given that I would much rather surf the net or eat a plateful of chicken wings and pork ribs than have sex I’m not that sexual anyway. I don’t find women unattractive/repulsive any more than I do men. At the end of the day some people are just more attractive to me than others though.