For me the easiest part of getting a girl was always the introduction and the first hours we met, ive done this more then I can count, I would go to a girl talk to her, having a good time then shell give me her fb/number etc
The hard part was always keeping her interested in me, II always get stuck in convos online and don’t know how I should present myself so she will like me. I get mild paranoid.
I still believe girls are talking to each other telepathically…
I know it’s not true but for some reason I still believe it.
I can’t break it…
So what if they do?
We still got our dicks
Dude I ran into this conflict after meeting a few of them… I was new to it and each one was more exciting then the last… I thought each one might actually be the start of that time line romance type thing (chicks fucken hate that thinking it’s too imposing… even if they are crushing back they too probably winding up sounding like bumbling idiots inside and move on out of embarassment.)
It’s dumb… but men think almost 100% objectively about women… they make it a goal oriented process of deadlines and expectations… Women on the other hand are far more strongly immersed in the subjective experience and aren’t systematizing everything they do… They want to be wooed, charmed, taken away from objective perspective… They know that life feels better in subjective states.
Obviously I did a whole helluva lot of objective rationalization to finally realize that.
Anyways… maintaining a girls interest will be a fool gauntlet… it will sway… women like the dynamics of life and different crowds… they are tempted to want to fit in everywhere… they want a connection to the community and that means several diversified realms. I’ve found more comfort and connection to life by allowing this to inspire me to do the same.
If you can make good first impressions… then I would certainly encouraged you to realize when that impression is about to wear off and put their presence in the backdrop of importance. Ignore them a bit… chose to not interact with them unless they make an effort to interact with you.
I call it the mid-phase… it’s just as important… You’re showing respect to them, you’re standing up for yourself, and you’re demonstrating independence instead of pending dependency… The process itself can teach a man more about managing his expectations, letting go, and see the real potentials of life beyond just finding one singular woman.
They’re all out there, just as diversified and unique as all the men… Really I’ve met enough to see that they do have the same styles of thinking, cultural biases, social loyalties, sexual tendencies and discomforts, domestic dreams… insecurities and egos…
I mean frankly they are pretty neat… It’s easy for objective thought to wind up in prejudice… it’s too easy to let annoyance with one girl spoil the idea of the rest of them.
I for one hate that I always get lost in the complicated ones… but I’ve met I think the last one I really needed to in order to know the potential is out there and very real to meet one that is interested and compatible… That all the inner parts of me that don’t make sense to most folk resonate strongly with some of the girls… I can relax in myself knowing that I do get their respect for who I am… and that quells the need for validation which allows me to move forward in a repose of wisdom instead of impulsivity and emotional fluctuation.
Lord knows that I still won’t have a partner for another 5 or 6 years… I’m fine with that though… It’s only worth it when it’s real and not some charade… The woman who feels that way about me won’t be one to let go of the idea so easily… I’ll have time to recognize it and test my comforts… Just like they themselves are always hoping for (and rarely ever get a chance to see through.)
It just takes a hands off approach… Treat them with respect and patience and they’ll all smile… get all the girls around town smiling with you and it’s like the ice finally does feel broken… it can be allowed to look different… at least that’s how its happening for me.
Interesting stories
I hate it when they show interest in me and on social media I could not get anywhere with them.
Maybe I overthink and forget to simply talk with them
All my life, I had an easy time getting a guy or a girl’s interest. Piece of cake. As I got older, (past age 48), not so easy anymore.
Opposite for me.
Dudeee, we should be wing men… Just imagine :))
I let my impulses and focuses to run their course… I try to promote inaction in those states… I give it time to let all the allure wear off and for me to get a clear sense of who I’m dealing with…
Then once all the crushy vibes subside… I try embrace my mind drifting to other things… It takes a serious amount of effort.
I’ll tell you I didn’t sleep at all last night. It was the first time I’ve been about to get a solid 12 hours in for myself… and I spent a whole 5 five hours stuck on the idea of this one girl. First girl I talked to in almost a year that actually gave me a satisfying conversation…
It’s highly involuntary… She told me to much and I told her too much… all my deep thoughts wind up conjuring her responses… and it’s like damn dude that chick is cool… her humor is just like mine.
Social media is a bastion of shallow fake interaction for momentary attention and showing off… I would not consider the legitimate realm for finding romantic interests.
I realised nos because I know what I want from that girl its harder for me to get there and I can’t let things flow naturally bacuse I am constantly thinking how to make her my girlfriend, and forget to befriend her
Focus on her presence… not her potential…
Don’t think, have a thick skin and seem like she needs u more than u need her. Most of all be patient because not every girl is gonna like u.
I don’t know how to make her think she needs me more
I wish I could
Take to no manipulations…
Reward or ignore… never punish…
If you ever use the silent treatment… let them know why first… and in the simplest form possible.
Girls do have a high amount of respect for someone with back bone who knows how to play the politics and stand up for themself… They have to put up with a lot more of that ■■■■ throughout their lives… meanwhile guys just get left alone and their thinking becomes distorted in isolation and desperation.
I never thought of that, one girl told me that girl are more mature then men
And I should mention that even the softest levels of appreciation… The stuff that is based on absolutely greater commitment at all… Girls who consistently smile at you, girls who get nervous… all of those things should not be taken for granted. It’s easy to wind up spiting all that in the face of having to carry on sexlessly… but it’s being liked by and approved of by women in general that can keep a man assured he’ll find a fit somewhere.
Heterosexual intercourse is one of the easiest ways to ruin one’s own life… Pregnancy is a tremendous risk and most prolonged endeavors do yield a pregnancy…
I’m only comfortable with monogomy… I want to set myself up to be prepared for whatever comes my way… I want to provide whichever one I wind up with the reassurance of that comfort.
Imagine that… being a girl who takes the big picture seriously every time a dude approaches… (You’ll have to have his baby… you sure about that?)
They got way different perspectives on all that I’m sure… but I can see why without trying to read into it… they like to keep things simple and not grandiose… They like to escape those vibes of eventual entrapment… they like to be teased… because the the tease might be tempting or entertaining… but it is optional and easy to dismiss.
What she said is sexist and untrue…
However, women are obviously going to understand themselves more easily… I mean that on a individual level.
They aren’t all the same… They disagree with each other… There are smart ones…
I honestly wish that I didn’t have to a part of the new onset feminist generation… Girls are going to have to push at it like they are the only ones that should be totally alone in their thinking… and for now I can see totally why that is the case.
The concept of their gender is a cultural thing… and it goes beyond any single one of them.
I suspect though… within a few decades a woman’s inborn sense of Independence will be secured and men might be invited back into that conversation of how we should see things… how we should all live… because it’s obvious that both men and women don’t even really know themselves… not on that macroscopic cultural level.
My neighbor keep saying that in the future women will rule the world. Think about it 50 years ago they did not have the right to vote and now…