Schizophrenia.com

The depression has me

#1

I haven’t even been able to exercise properly I’ve been so depressed. Usually running makes me feel great, but I can’t even do that. I still… well… no… I haven’t actually gotten anything done recently either. I feel like such a loser. I don’t want to say I feel to depressed to do anything because it sounds like such a cop out. Like I am taking advantage of my diagnosis… but I do feel too numb. I don’t feel it all the time every day… but I have just laid there during this “outbreak”. I never just lay there unless I am just waking up or it’s a special treat. I read, I play with my phone, heck I even just think. But I just laid there and stared.
I just reread that and realized how bad that sounded. It isn’t that bad. I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel sad. I just don’t feel a lot. Maybe it’s blunted emotions? One of the negatives of sz? Or maybe I am a lot more depressed than I realize but it’s blunted. I don’t see why blunting (or whatever) would stop me from exercising…

0 Likes

#2

I don’t think your being lazy or using a cop out, I think your suffering negative symptoms. It sounds like your deflated. You say you feel depressed but not sad… which depression isn’t always sorrow, it’s a lot of things… mix that was SZ and a touch of negative symptom… Please don’t suffer the way I did. Talk to the doc and they can look into it, Depression does have meds, and some of the mood stabilizers are also good for kicking out of negative symptom.

I lost at least two years of my life, sitting in my bed, staring at the walls with no way to communicate, no thoughts in my head, just deflation, rust brown, and self loathing. I hardly talked, I hardly moved, I tanked. I was merely furniture just breathing and blinking and motionless. I am so freaking afraid of negative symptom. All I wanted to do was die.

Then my meds got changed and it took a bit to come out of it, but I made it. Don’t take this bad boy for granted. It sneaks up little by little and then it consumes. I don’t want to scare you. But please talk to your doc and don’t say your lazy… Your not.

0 Likes

#3

I’m going to the doctor next week. I’ve had depression before, but not like this.

0 Likes

#4

Good luck and hope you come through this fast!
Arent you the one who says " big jellybean hug"? If you are -Heres one for you XX
If I`m wrong-here is one anyway
***

1 Like

#5

I like the jelly bean hugs… I started sending them to some of my family when they admit to being a bit low in spirit… -0-

2 Likes

#6
0 Likes

#7

oh my…How awful for you…it sounds like a side effect of sz…big hugs being sent your way.damn depression

0 Likes

#8

depression is really horrible and for me it comes out of the blue and seems to be for no reason which is in furiating to me.
it does go away again but when your in it it feels like your life is over. i felt the same way 2 days ago god my moods are so unpredictable. i know what your going through so hang in there!

1 Like