Telling a partner about mental illness?

Health and Recovery
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Hi everyone. have any of you told a partner about your mental illness? I’ve always wondered when would be the right time to open up? Early or late in the relationship? Or if we should even tell him/her?

I feel there is such a stigma against mental illnesses that most people would run and ran FAST.

I don’t have a partner currently. I’ve Only ever told one partner. Partner said it was ok and fine but wouldn’t ya know, we ended up breaking up shortly after.

This really stresses me out as I would like a partner but I have this baggage that is with me everywhere I go.

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I didn’t open up about it until we were serious. We sat with a therapist and he explained what exactly schizophrenia was. He asked questions, and seemed confused. Since I’ve been functional, he’s been really good to me.

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That is wonderful! I am very happy for you!

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I believe that your illness is your business.

You don’t have to disclose anything if you don’t want to,

Its not herpes or something.

I didn’t tell my husband when we were dating.

As my symptoms increased, I would tell him what I had to, but never a full disclosure or diagnosis.

Ends up, its pretty obvious that I’m crazy and when I eventually ended up in the hospital and had doctors telling him all sorts of stuff,

He understood and was in fact, not surprised.

The hospital approach is maybe not the best,

But I do still believe that you don’t have to tell people about your illness until you want to,

Whether that is right up front, three years down the line, or never.

Its up to you and the kind of support you want.

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My wife was always very receptive, I told her early, friends I wait a while and may disclose it. Must of her family doesn’t even know my son has autism, so they won’t hear about me. It is true, with early notifying, some just listen to fox news and thinks your a serial killer…

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True. Thank you for comment.

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That’s good wife is receptive. Exactly. People think you’re s serial killer or something…

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They hear schitzoa… and they think from that alone you must be a terrible person who is going to physically harm others

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I Didn’t get diagnosed with sz until after we were married, but I had plenty of other ■■■■ going on. Within the first month or two of dating he saw me full on psychotic and suicidal. He stuck around for some reason even though I told him to leave. :woman_shrugging: Guess I just got lucky.

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But as far as when to tell, I always just let them figure it out. I can’t hide my crazy.

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yeah tell him! it will be fun :smiley: at least you get a priceless reaction in case he freaks out

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Haha very funny. But I’m thinking what if I like the person and think they are great person then they run…

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13

First tell him

a worse news… something horrible, like you have a heart problem and will die in a matter of months
Then say it is a joke

Afterwards say about your condition

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lol that’s a unique way to go about it. That might upset some people but it’s unique

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It depends on how sympathetic your partner is. Trust is a huge issue. You have to have absolute confidence in your partner. I wouldn’t disclose something as personal as a mental illness at the first opportunity cos that is an unnecessary complication to the relationship. You want to enjoy being together and sharing each other’s company not talk discussing how awful it is to have an MI. When you look into one another’s eyes you do not stop to watch the clouds passing overhead. That aspect of you ought to be for your pdoctor, and I guess on here.

Besides, who can really understand what we go through with this illness if you are standing on the outside having never felt like that world is falling in on you?

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True true. Thanks for your comment.

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Guys who have asked me out in the past have said that they wouldn’t mind my “mental problems” but… I think they would!
Of course they would.

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I just told my now ex boyfriend about the diagnosis. He thanked me for being open and honest and wished me the very best for the future. I told him it was the reason I was not working and that I may not be ready for a serious relationship. He said he is looking to settle down…

But maybe he feels like he dodged a bullet who knows?

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I didn’t have to sit down and tell my husband because he noticed the symptoms himself and I was honest with him when he had questions as we were getting to know each other. It’s just a disease to us. I have a mental disease, sza he has a physical disease, diabetes. We cope with each disease together.

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I think it’s harder for women to accept schizophrenia in their male partners, because of the stigma of violence.

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